So this was the week of “inspirational” songs in honor of Idol Gives Back, the charity event that turned our phone votes into cash for needy and starving folks in places like Africa, Kentucky, and Atlanta.

The girls took over the stage, sounding great and looking amazing, all three of them. For me, this was the week of the perfect dresses. Melinda Doolittle’s soft, gunmetal gray dress looked terrific on her, playing up her shape, and worked well with her softer hairstyle. She sang “There Will Come a Day” by Faith Hill and, although I’m not familiar with the song, she struck gold with it. It was a powerful, intensely emotional performance. As fucking usual. I love her, but I’m almost getting bored with her being so great every week.

Lakisha Jones also looked incredible in a very simple, twisted-bodice, draped column dress. It was classy and elegant in black, giving her a very glamorous air. I thought her version of “I Believe” was great, even if the judges liked Fantasia’s version better. Oh, so fucking what? Fantasia did it first. Who gives a shit? Lakisha sang with strength and conviction and deserves to be acknowledged for that. Fantasia isn’t all that fucking great anyway.

Of the girls, however, Jordin Sparks was the standout. Again, fan-fucking-tastic dress, made her figure look all boom-shaka-laka-boom without being too revealing. Her curly hair was back again, which I love, being a fellow curly-haired gal myself. Jordin chose the old standard “You’ll Never Walk Alone,” which I find to be a very boring song … normally. However, she made me sit up and listen. I thought her voice sounded a little shaky at the beginning during the soft parts of the song, but the girl looked like she was gonna cry the whole fucking time, so maybe she was just emotional. I know I was. The way she sings these meaningful songs really gets to me. She’s gotta knock it off, because I was almost in tears again this week and I’m not a mushy-gushy person who cries about songs. It’s getting a little embarrassing.

The guys were okay. Of course I loved Chris Richardson and the way he sang Eric Clapton’s “Change the World.” It was fresh and interesting, and I just love the way he infuses his own cool-Chris vibe into everything he sings. And he looked adorable in his suit jacket and tie paired with cargo pants and sneaks. So … fucking … cute. I swear, I could eat him for breakfast.

Blake Lewis disappointed me a bit this week with his version of “Imagine” by John Lennon. I had my fingers crossed he wouldn’t fuck it up, because that song is a beloved, sacred anthem. He didn’t fuck it up per se, but he didn’t quite knock it outta the park either. It was kinda … blah. Which is weird for him. It sounded almost melancholy and sad, and I would have liked it if he made it more hopeful-sounding. I did dig the funky jacket, though.

Oh, and finally for Phil Stacey. So last week I figured out what bothers me about him and this week I’ve found exactly what kind of creature he resembles. I know it’s a little mean, but I had to. He might not be around much longer. Please examine exhibits A, B, and C below and compare to the photo of Phil. Mmm-hmmm. These are other members of his species. Notice the protruding ears and prominent eyebrows? Okay, so with that out of the way, Phil sucked again even though he tried to stick with the country theme and did Garth Brooks’ “The Change.” I think I saw a glimmer of some emotion this week, which was nice, but overall he was still the stinker of the evening.
Time for him to go back to the land of the living-dead with his buddies and feast on the brains of infants.

Tonight, we’ll be suffering through the 2-hour Special with appearances by apparently a thousand celebrities to eventually find out who gets kicked.