I was looking forward to a funky-licious Idol disco party when I heard Barry Gibb of the Bee Gees would be coaching our Final Four. Alas, it was more like a sleepy evening of late-night radio Slow Jams. Except for Blake. At least he tried.

Barry Gibb is looking pretty old these days, but dammit if he’s not trying his best to hold on to his “cool.” He’s still got the goatee and the shoulder-length hair, although it’s not quite as fluffy. And he’s still pulling it off okay; it hasn’t begun to appear too desperate yet. I’d give him about another year or two before he loses it completely.

Melinda Doolittle started the show looking like a fly diva in dark jeans and a drapey black top. She looked gorgeous, and her rendition of “Love You Inside and Out” was smooth as silk. Her second song of the evening was “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart,” which I remember as a kid singing in the car with my mom when we were going grocery shopping. Melinda gave the song a jazzier flavor and roared an incredibly powerful ending. She is a fucking pro. And the flip hairdo was adorable.

It think Blake Lewis got a little drunk on his success doing the Bon Jovi beat-box thing last week, because he threw it into each of his songs last night. Okay, now I do love the beat-boxing, I really do. But he’s heading for overkill if he does it every fucking time he performs. I hated his first song, “You Should Be Dancing.” But I never liked that song anyway. The vocal effects he used in the breakdown of the song were kinda cool, but overall it was cheesy. I also have decided I don’t like his darker hair or the stupid jacket he had on last night. He’s starting to look a bit gothy, and I liked the cool old-man clothes much better.

His second song choice was “This Is Where I Came In,” a stinker Bee Gees song no one has heard of. But what do you know? Blake made it kinda funky. I don’t know if it was his much cuter outfit (argyle!) or the fact that he actually SANG most of the song, but I was digging it. And the boy can dance.

Lakisha really disappointed me with her slow, clunky version of “Stayin’ Alive,” the anthem of all things disco. I wanted glitter balls, flashing lights, metallic platform heels, like there was a coke-fueled dance party happening on that stage. Hers was an interesting version of that song, slower, sexier, a little hip-hoppier, but I was jonesing for a disco fix. She looked beautiful though; I loved the long smooth hair. I wasn’t as familiar with her second song, “Run To Me,” and found it very boring, but she looked glamorous in that gorgeous green and black dress.

Jordin Sparks was the standout of the night, although her first performance was WAY better than her second one. “To Love Somebody” was done in a sassy, retro-glam fashion that held onto just enough of the original melody and added just enough contemporary vocalizing to make it sizzle. Plus, I absolutely loved the wavy, Farrah Fawcett 70’s hair, although I didn’t get the outfit. Why wear jeans under that cute dress? Jordin took on a Barbra Streisand number as her second choice, “A Woman In Love.” I fucking love that song. Jordin’s version, however, was boring and a little screechy. I just think she’s too young to be able to sing it right. She needs to wait until she’s experienced some romantic desperation. The gown was also a tad too formal, although very elegant.

If it was up to me and based on last night’s performances alone, Lakisha would be a goner. I love her and think she’s a sweetheart, but let’s just lay it out there. She was the weakest link. Blake’s walking the fence, but I think he’s got enough fans (Blaker girls?) to keep him going for another week. We shall see …