Snooki’s new man wants to “put a ring on it.” And since the manual on How to Become a Guido in 30 Days or Less doesn’t include a chapter on getting down on bended knee and popping the question like they did in the days when chilvary and fidelity still reigned, Jeff’s issuing his proposal the way any good famewhore would: On the cover of a local magazine!

Their romance may be just over two weeks old, but that hasn’t stopped Miranda — an Iraqi War vet — from trying to take his love affair with the poofed-up Jersey Shore guidette (and her $30,000 per episode salary) to the local wedding chapel.

“I want us to be together forever. I could see us having children. I want to pop the question to her. If we got married we would be the best parents around. She’s so loving and puts everyone else before her self. She’ll be a great mother. I love her and want to be with her. I will never break her heart. She’s such a great girl. If people could see us together they would think we’re a match made in heaven. People think I’m using her for fame. But that’s bullshit,” Miranda yaps on the pages of the new issue of Steppin’ Out Magazine, which is flanked by a shirtless snap of Miranda on the cover.

Miranda, 24, poses on bended knee wearing only fatigue pants and a hat, along with the words “Will You Marry Me?” printed across the magazine’s cover. Jeff gushes about the heavily-tanned reality TV star and promises that they’ll be happy together. No word on what Snook’s answer is yet.

Did we mention that Jeff and Snooki, 22, began dating after they met at Club Karma in Seaside Heights on Aug. 13? Or that it was only a few months ago that Snooks was talking diamond sparklers and baby carriages with now ex-beau Emilio Masella?

Can you say “Slow Down, Sister!”

But if Snooki (real name Nicole Polizzi) is looking forward to a lifetime of bliss with Miranda, she may want to think again.

According to documents obtained by RadarOnline, one of Miranda’s ex-girlfriends put out a restraining order against the muscle former serviceman last year for physically assaulting her and threatening her life.

The temporary order of protection was filed in Ocean County, NJ, in April of 2009 by Rebecca Hansen, who dated Miranda from 2008-2009. Hansen claims that while Miranda was sweet and romantic when they first met (Sound familiar?), but he soon revealed a dark dangerous side that left her in fear for her life. Court documents show that Miranda ‘threatened to burn plaintiff’s house down while she slept, threatened to cut plaintiff’s brakes, defendant threatened plaintiff by stating “if you cheat on me or break up with me you have a hole dug for you already.”‘ The court order further states that Miranda choked and punched Hansen in the stomach, pulled her by the hair and called her a “slut, cunt, whore, and bitch” during a dispute on New Years Eve 2009.

Sounds like Snooki’s got herself a regular Mel Gibson-in-Training. Nice job, Sweetie.