It’s less than three weeks until Season 4 of The Mindy Project hits Hulu, and everyone is pretty psyched to see Mindy Lahiri have her baby boy. And we won’t have long to wait; Ike Barinholtz (i.e. the inimitable Nurse Morgan Tookers) has already revealed that the birth will happen in episode 2. But what we don’t know is how Danny’s meet-the-parents went, or what the Joseph Gordon-Levitt alternate universe thing is all about, or (most importantly) what Mindy will name her baby.
Here’s what I know for sure. Mindy Lahiri will not be naming that baby anything sensible like John or Adam. This baby is going to have the most stylish, ostentatious, feminist, and pop-culture-relevant name of all time. Move over Blue Ivy and North West: the queen is here. Here are a few names I’d just love to see Mindy choose for her child.
Way back in Season 1, Mindy actually told Danny exactly what she wanted to name her future children: Jaden, Madison, Brie, and Piper. She’s obviously into uber-trendy names, but in the three years that have passed, those particular four have become a little bit played out (except for Brie. That name’s brilliant. That is like naming your baby Cheese, which actually is something Mindy might do.)
So she needs something a bit fresh, and in 2015, what could be more uber-trendy than Logan? However, considering Mindy once almost-dated a guy named Graham Logan, Danny would probably slap this one with a big ol’ veto.
Rupert sounds exactly like the kind of rich, well-dressed British man that Mindy would like her son to become (I’m just picturing Rupert Everett here, and I think Mindy would approve.) Mindy is always aspiring to the world of the rich and famous, and having a son named Rupert would make her feel right at home there.
Sadly, Danny might have to strike this one off, too. Mindy used to regularly hook up with their fellow doctor Jeremy Reed, and naming her son Rupert (and raising him with a British accent) might raise some eyebrows about who the father really is.
Mindy Lahiri would not care one iota that the singer Lorde is a woman. She’s fabulous, and it’s a fabulous name. I mean, Lorde Lahiri? That is sensational.
Danny, on the other hand, is very traditional when it comes to gender roles. While Mindy is helping him become a little more open-minded, he might draw the line at naming his son after a woman.
Mindy is always impeccably dressed, and looking better than everyone else in the room is super-important to her. Naming her baby after a fashion designer would be a great way to tell the world just how stylish she really is.
Even though Valentine is a saint’s name, which should appeal to Danny’s devout Catholicism, I’m still not sure Danny would go for this one. He’s the man who once got annoyed at having to “put on pants and a shirt and shoes.” I think it’s safe to say that clothes don’t matter all that much to him.
I have a feeling that Mindy will view Prince George as being in direct competition with her own baby, and will do whatever it takes to one-up him. She also idolizes Kate Middleton, and so would likely take direct naming inspiration from the Duchess herself.
As this name is so traditional, it might just get Danny’s seal of approval — that is, until he found out her reasoning for it. Competing with the royal family over who has the cutest baby is exactly the kind of crazy Mindy behavior that Danny is always trying to tone down.
This one is my best bet; there a ton of signs pointing to this as the perfect name for baby Lahiri. Firstly, it’s the ultimate feminist boy’s name. Orlando is Virginia Woolf’s iconic gender-bending novel, and Mindy Lahiri is a firm believer in equality of the sexes.
In the film version, Orlando was played by Tilda Swinton, who we can deduce Mindy thinks is “legit hot.” (This requires a bit of detective work: Mindy’s comment was originally about the Statue of Liberty, which Danny then pointed out looked like Swinton. Do with that dodgy logic what you will.)
Secondly, Ike “Morgan Tookers” Barinholtz is convinced that Mindy might name the baby after a hot guy (think Eddie Redmayne Lahiri or Pierce Brosnan Lahiri). Perhaps we’re about to welcome Orlando Bloom Lahiri to the world.
The best part of this name is that Danny might actually agree to it, as it would appeal to his Italian heritage. Guys, I think we have a winner!