4 Reasons Why You Should Push Yourself To Date



If there is one single thing I have learned in my short twenty-something life, it’s that dating sucks. As in, going on endless first and second dates and being constantly disappointed, meeting ineligible people in bars and wishing for some peace and a couple drinks with your friends, and constantly feeling the pressure to be meeting new people when you’d rather just be in bed, alone, with Netflix and cheese.

I’m the worst when it comes to doing things that I don’t want to do. Happy in my little single bubble, I have to truly push myself to say yes to a date, especially when I have a sneaky, instinctual feeling that it won’t go anywhere. What’s the point? I ask myself.

Many, many points, I reply to myself (I am so single). Pushing yourself to date, especially when you don’t want to, puts you that much closer to being in a relationship (if that’s your wish) and it even teaches you about yourself.

1. You’ll build a thicker skin to rejection and disappointment.

The dating world is cutthroat and there are no rules. At least — very few people follow them. Experiencing disappointment or rejection just makes those negative emotions that much easier to bear, because after a while, you’ll get used to them and they won’t have the power to shatter you the way you fear they will.

Everyone is afraid of rejection, of disappointment and of feeling like nothing will ever be enough. But it’s when you let those feelings in that you conquer the demon before you let it conquer you.

2. You’ll learn what you respond to in a potential partner.

Yes: getting to know a lot of people will help you get to know yourself. What do you want in an “ideal” partner? What are you willing to sacrifice and conversely, what’s the highest on your list that you just can’t give up?

Dating a lot helps you narrow down the field and it’ll let you become comfortable with trusting your gut, constantly being in a dialogue with your needs and wants, and will help you recognize when you’ve found someone you never want to let go of.

3. It’ll get you out of your comfort zone.

I don’t know about you, but I love my little comfort zone. It ranges from my bed to about twenty minutes away to my favorite bar. It usually includes a Snuggie and/or a couple beers with close friends on a Saturday night.

It emphatically does not include random strangers, dating apps, casual hook-ups, and awkward first dates. Even though those things are exciting, “I would prefer not to.” But that kind of thinking will get me nowhere.

Branching out and making myself willfully uncomfortable will only make me grow. I’ll become more comfortable with previously-thought terrible situations, and I’ll be more confident in myself for being brave and putting it all on the line. After all, what have I got to lose?

4. It’s fun.

With the right mindset and a little liquid courage (in moderation, of course), dating can be a hell of a lot of fun. For girls especially, we get all dressed up, dust off those LBDs and glittery heels, and get escorted around by a dapper fellow. Same goes for guys: isn’t it nice to be in the company of a (hopefully) decent woman for a night, and get to know each other?

There can be so much undue pressure put on the dating process that we — myself included — forget how much fun it is, how exciting, how fraught with those amazing tingly feelings and an aura of expectation. Maybe you really will meet someone you’ll want in your life for good.

Or at the very least, you’ll be able to eat something with cheese in it.

Lisa Lo Paro
Lisa is a freelance writer and bibliophile living on the outskirts of New York City. She likes 2 a.m. with a good book, takes cream in her coffee and heavily filters her photos. Check out her blog The Most Happy, her Instagram, and Twitter.

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