25 Dumbest Celebrity Quotes
Are the rich and famous naturally stupid or do they just spend too much time with their microphones? Ours is not to reason why… but here are 25 of the dumbest things that the rich and famous have ever said!
25. Britney Spears: “I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.”
While this wasn’t a one off (Japan’s not in Africa, Britney!) it’s a pretty rookie error from a younger, pre-losing-it Miss Spears.
24. Gwyneth Paltrow: “I am convinced that by eating biological foods it is possible to avoid a tumor.”
What else were you thinking of eating?
23. Arnold Schwarzenegger: “I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”
What the Governator probably means here is that, in his opinion, gay marriage simply should not be.
22. David Hasselhoff: “I’ve got taste. It’s inbred in me.”
Honestly, that explains everything.
21. Guy Ritchie: “It’s OK to have beliefs, just don’t believe in them.”
Erm…. Just like possessions which you don’t have? This is what happens when you get too interested in Kabbalah.
20. Carla Bruni: “When I was having my hair and make-up done backstage at a fashion show, I would sneak in a copy of Dostoevsky and read it inside a copy of Elle or Vogue. But it would be pretentious of me to say I was more intelligent than the other supermodels.”
That’s the smuggest thing I’ve ever heard!
19. Victoria Beckham (on her autobiography): “It’s straight from the horse’s mouth. Not that I’m saying I’m a horse.”
Good clarification, Posh!
18. Paris Hilton: “What’s Walmart, do they like make walls there?”
It’s Paris Hilton. What do you expect? But where does she buy her walls then, eh?
17. Tom Cruise: “As a kid, when I got to the edge of a cliff I wanted to jump off. I didn’t want to kill myself. I wanted to fly.”
Insane. Insufferably smug. Annoyingly ambitious. Obviously, none of these things apply to Tom.
16. Cindy Crawford: “In the studio, I do try to have a thought in my head, so that it’s not like a blank stare.”
Too much honesty!
15. Joaquin Phoenix: “Do I have a large frog in my hair? I have the sensation that something is eating my brain.”
Unfortunately for Mr Phoenix this came during his so-called ‘insane hobo’ period.
14. Prince Philip (to an Aboriginal businessman in traditional dress): “Do you still throw spears at each other?”
Prince Phillip doesn’t so much say stupid things as things that are wantonly offensive – to women, to the disabled and to people from outside the UK. This is a particular gem.
13. Nicole Richie: “When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crackhead with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes.”
First rule of being a capable drug addict, Nicole – never lose your shoes. Unless you’re shooting heroin into your feet that is!
12. George Gobel: “If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.”
And the internet would be powered by millions of mice.
11. Joe Biden: “If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong.”
If you’ve really, really done everything right, then actually, no, there’s 0% chance it’ll go horribly wrong. That’s the difference between thinking and doing.
10. Fran Lebowitz: “Food is an important part of a balanced diet.”
Up there with Linda Evangelista’s dieting denials (she doesn’t diet, she just doesn’t eat as much as she’d like to!).
9. David Beckham: “I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet.”
It’s all in the word, David. Christ-ened. See also Guy Ritchie’s alarming lack of faith in his own beliefs.
8. Mischa Barton: “Pretty people aren’t as accepted as other people. It comes with all these stigmas.”
Wait till she announces that her fortune is really a terrible curse.
7. Yogi Berra: “Predictions are difficult, especially about the future.”
Never was a truer word said.
6. Axl Rose: “It’s really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.”
Wow, Axl Rose surely is a douchebag. While he might as well have named his band ‘Cocks and Beavers’, you’d think he’d understand words like “one-on-one” and “relationship”.
5. Woody Allen: “If my films don’t make a profit, I know I’m doing something right.”
That doesn’t really follow, actually. And you can tell Allen said this in a totally deadpan voice. He seems to be thinking, “The public is stupid, therefore failure is good”. Would you give this man money to make a film?
4. R. Kelly: “All of the sudden, you’re like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I’m going through.”
Now that’s a very, very odd thing to say. Is being accused of having sex with a minor the same as blowing up the World Trade Center? And what would Osama and R talk about together? Their hatred for America? Their love of young ladies? The. Mind. Boggles.
3. Mariah Carey: “Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
Now there’s a fairly astonishing faux pas. Is it the “flies and death” that make you cry or is it your envy for that skinny, ‘starving’ look?
2. George Bush: “They misunderestimated me.”
Dubya might well have been misunderstood quite a lot of the time and, in relation to that, he probably was underestimated. But is that what he’s really getting at? What is clear is that, for a man who has “strong opinions” but doesn’t “always agree with them”, he hasn’t done too badly. Hail to the chief!
1. Kanye West (interrupting Taylor Swift before an audience of millions): “Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you, I’ll let you finish, but Beyoncé has one of the best videos of all time. One of the best videos of all time!”
Oh, Kanye. We knew you liked blurting things out on television, but we thought that was because you were principled and passionate. Having made this spectacularly stupid and unnecessary announcement, it became clear that you’re actually ‘one of the biggest douchebags… of all time!’ Terrible timing. Unwanted message. Questionable sincerity (“I’m happy for you too, Kanye!”). No less than the leader of the free world pronounced you to be a ‘Jackass’. A truly epic fail.
Written by Julian on June 30th, 2010 | Tagged as: Celebrities,Popular Culture
On July 1st 2010, Thomas Anderson wrote:
The Mariah Carey one isn’t true. It leads me to believe most if not all of the other ones are fake or jokes out of context.
On July 1st 2010, Brandi wrote:
I was not surprised one bit when I read the #1. As a matter of fact, when I first saw the article, I was wondering if it would placed as #1.
On July 1st 2010, Durr wrote:
Er.. Joe Biden’s quote makes sense, there are somethings that you can’t control and even if you do everything right, things can still go wrong. Yogi Berra’s was probably a joke(a pretty good one, too) and Woody Allen’s is downright respectable. You may not have noticed this, dear author, but the most profitable films are shit, because film companies market the same old stuff that they know will make money.
On July 1st 2010, John wrote:
Actually, the Guy Ritchie quote is very profound. In reality, no beliefs are the Truth, and believing in them leads to suffering.
On July 1st 2010, Boofont wrote:
The George Gobel quote is a joke from his stand-up routine. You kids today with your internets and your space invaders pinball don’t remember George, but he was a very funny guy.
On July 1st 2010, Kelley wrote:
Well I dunno about the Mariah Carey one, but almost all of the others i have seen or heard before so I’m pretty sure that they are true
On July 1st 2010, Bob wrote:
Celebs can really be dumb! For more interesting facts about celebrities and almost anything else, visit http://www.factsurf.com
On July 1st 2010, Bruce wrote:
The woody allen quote should not be in there. That it made the list reveals more about the ignorance of the writer of the article. For example, Woody Allen also said, “I’d never join a club that would have me as a member.” Another comment that is simultaneously clever and self-depricating.
On July 1st 2010, Dennis Smith wrote:
Do you really believe George Gobel was serious? Did you really not get Woody Allen’s point? This site should be at the top of the list
On July 1st 2010, krystal wrote:
I wish this fake Mariah quote would DIE! It’s 100% fake and was created in a fake interview on a satire web site.
http://www.snopes.com/quotes/carey.asp
On July 1st 2010, Celebrity wrote:
Tom Cruise is my favorite. Also I like the note on Arnold. Good share buddy.
On July 2nd 2010, Go wrote:
With all the dumb stuff said in these quotes, the article author Julian is dumber than any of them, as seen by his retarded comments.
On July 2nd 2010, Chris wrote:
Oh, Mariah, I feel your pain!
On July 2nd 2010, Kavan Wolfe wrote:
Great list, except the Woody Allen one. Allen is considered one of the wittiest men of all time, and the example you picked only supports this opinion.
On July 2nd 2010, Felix wrote:
Please go to Wikipedia and type in sarcasm.
“If my films don’t make a profit, I know I’m doing something right.” He is saying that when a film makes a profit it is appealing to a popular audience that does not appreciate quality, artistic film. Ergo, by not making a profit he is making quality, artistic films.
On July 2nd 2010, Rob wrote:
The woody allen quote is great, as is the guy ritchie one, Just a shame they went over the authors head, maybe he could quality for a dumb award?
On July 2nd 2010, pedro pimenta wrote:
yeah, i’m just going to repeat myself… to make a point. you are dumb (article author Julian).
On July 2nd 2010, Gixman wrote:
I think that kanye is a douche but At this heights I think that he were right. FYI I am african american.
On July 20th 2010, ellie wrote:
as much as i think david beckham is dumber than a bag of hair, his comment makes more sense than you give him credit for. there are four major divisions under christianity, including catholicism and protestantism. i know i’m giving him the benefit of the doubt here, but he probably meant one of those four.
On July 22nd 2010, Greg wrote:
The only one I disagree with is Gobal’s quote. He was always saying that kind of thing, like Yogi Berra did. Not dumb but intentional. The others on your list, meh, not so much.
On September 12th 2010, Nat wrote:
A slight aside from the point of the article itself here, but has anybody else noticed an uncanny resemblance between the photo of supreme tw4t David Beckham and the great Sir Sean Connery? Excepting Beckhams ridiculous hairstyle of course.
On September 21st 2010, Alana wrote:
Obama is not the leader of the free world. America, yes. But not the rest of the west.
On October 9th 2010, Aileen.k wrote:
Enjoyed it thoroughly.It doesn’t matter whether the quoter’s meant it or not. It was just damn funny: )
On December 1st 2010, Miva wrote:
November is gone, it left us with a lot of damage on our credit cards from all the shopping during Black Friday and Cyber Monday, a few more pounds thanks to the delicious dishes we had on Thanksgiving, but it also left all the memorable moments in Sports from all of our dear and not so dear athletes, heard on November 2010.
November 2010 Quotes in Sports (Photos, Video) http://sports.rightpundits.com/?p=5538
On February 19th 2011, phil wrote:
if you were a celebrity, would you have included yourself on this list for saying ‘epic fail’ ? i would sure like to think so.
On June 5th 2011, Side wrote:
I rarely write a comment on these things, but the pure idiocy displayed by the author of this column, (can we even call you an author?) is by far #1 of all time. Please find a new job. Because you are more daft than any of them. I guess Woody Allen movies would not appeal to you, because you are part of the ‘we’ll watch any garbage thrown in our face masses’” Quit now.