Have A Safe And Happy New Year!

If you thought the Seinfeld Porno was gag-worthy, just wait until you get a load of Jersey Shore XXX: An adult entertainment company has announced plans to produce an X-rated spoof inspired by MTV’s controversial reality series Jersey Shore.

The porn purveyors at Zero Tolerance Entertainment are busily working on a project that will transform Snooki, J-Woww, and the rest of the overtanned and oversexed Guidos and Guidettes of the season’s most buzzed-about unscripted hit into Jersey Whores.

Hey guys, looking for love in the new year? How about a date with Kate Gosselin?

The reality-starring mother of eight is fresh off a divorce from hot mess of a hubby Jon Gosselin and may be looking for long-lasting love on the small screen, according to a scoop from PopEater.com. The former star of TLC’s Jon & Kate Plus 8 is in chats with the network to star in a new dating show that would document her search for the next spineless jellyfish she can order around.

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Reality starlet Kim Kardashian has responded to allegations that she pockets up to $10,000 per Tweet to endorse products for QuickTrim, Reebox, and promote a new line of premiunm salads from West Coast fast food giant Carl’s Jr.

“I want to clear this up because there has been a lot of talk about this. Carl’s Jr did not pay me to tweet about their salads,” the 28-year-old socialite wrote on her blog New Year’s Eve. “Yes, obviously I was paid to be in the commercial… we all have to work! But I was not paid to tweet or talk about the salads on my blog, Facebook account, MySpace account or any other online outlets,” Kim wrote.

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Daytime TV got steamy this final week of 2009. One Life To Live ended the year with a bang — literally!

Despite rumors of its possible cancellation, on Wednesday, the daytime drama aired the first ever gay male sex scene in soap opera history. Here’s a video of the steamy hayroll between on-screen couple Kyle (Brett Claywell) and Fish (Scott Evans):

The candle-lit encounter got nearly two-and-a-half minutes of screen time and was followed by spooning and cuddling in bed.