Well, I was hoping for pelvis-shaking goodness in Memphis, and … well … not so much. A little bit, maybe. Most of the shaking was kinda disturbing really. Especially the lovely montage of contestants butchering my beloved Elvis’ song, Burnin’ Love. Many large people were jiggling the poundage, but were more like hunks o’ burnin’ lard, not quite burnin’ love. At least not for me. But some people like that … so, whatever.
Anyway, the show featured a disproportionate number of stinkers again this week, and only 5 of the 22 who actually made it to Hollywood. Of those 5, I was digging 2 of them: Melinda Doolittle, the pro background singer who looked like she was about to shit her pants the whole time, but was very sweet and had a great voice, and Sean Michel from Arkansas. When I initially saw Sean, with his bizarre long Amish beard and Fidel Castro-inspired cap, and heard he was from Arkansas, I was convinced I was looking at the next Uni-bomber. But then he opened his mouth and out came a soulful rendition of a gospel tune by Johnny Cash. Hmm. Rather impressive. And he was doing a nice little backbeat with his hands and feet at the same time. So he also has good fine motor skills.
I was less impressed with the other 3. Sundance shocked me with how much he looks like a fatter version of my friend Tim, but with a horrid goatee that looks like he’s wearing a vagina on his chin. Hey, some guys would like that. His version of Stormy Monday did sound great, but I just couldn’t get past the chest fur fluffing out from his half-unbuttoned shirt. I also believe there was a gold chain buried in there somewhere and that’s just wrong. Unless you’re Italian.
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Sources have spied Jessica Simpson and John Mayer enjoying their “cladestine” relationship under the blazing sun of Miami.
J&J worked out together on Monday at the resident Sports Club in the hotel where they’re staying. The two are even taking a yoga class and lifting weights, sources said.
Jess and John spent two hours chatting over sushi and bottle water at M.I.A’s Nobu Restaurant at the North Shore’s Club-John took care of the bill while J.S freshened up her lipstick.
John will be sticking around Florida for a few days-he’s performing in Jacksonville on Thursday, Miami on Friday, Orlando on Saturday and wrapping up in Pensacola on the following Monday night
Keira Knightly is suing a popular British tabloid over a January 11th story that the publication ran with K.K’s photo attached to a story about an anorexia death.
According to the official court documents filed against The Daily Mirror, “argue that the Mail’s article suggests that she has dishonestly sought to mislead the public about whether she has anorexia or similar eating disorder and will show that she does not have anorexia.”
The case could end up in a London courtroom by June.
Porn Queen Jenna Jameson and grainy-green sex tapes fanatic Paris Hilton will be taking part in “Virgin Territory,” an upcoming reality show designed to teach virgins the “art of lovemaking” and follow them as they learn “the steps.”
J.J and P.H will be coaching the group of virgins on how to get screw and ultimately help them land their first lay.
Giant billboards will be unveiled in Times Square and Los Angeles in search of real-life virgins in those cities. “Finding virgins in NYC or Los Angeles is no easy task,” says Kevin Blatt, the man behind the Paris Hilton sex chronicles.
Well, when it comes to Best Picture, it won’t be “Dreamgirls-” the urban musical found itself snubbed for the night’s highest honor along with it’s “leading” actress Beyonce. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences just announced the Oscar nominations for the Best in American Films. Statues will be handed out February 25th, 2007 in a live ceremony hosted by Ellen DeGeneres. Check out the nominees in the top categories:
Best Picture:
Babel
The Departed
Letters From Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
The Queen
Best Actor:
Leonardo DiCaprio, Blood Diamond
Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson
Peter O’Toole, Venus
Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness
Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland
Best Actress:
Penelope Cruz, Volver
Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal
Helen Mirren, The Queen
Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada
Kate Winslet, Little Children
Best Supporting Actor:
Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine
Jackie Earle Haley, Little Children
Dijmon Hinsou, Blood Diamond
Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls
Mark Wahlberg, The Departed
Best Supporting Actress:
Adriana Barraza, Babel
Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal
Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine
Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls
Riko Kikuchi, Babel