This is the only thing that will save her album sales.

Yesterday Colin Farrell was in court to obtain a restraining order against Dessarae Bradford- a woman who had filed a suit against Colin back in April and then had made a spectacle of herself on the Tonight Show in July when she allegedly accosted him onstage.

Colin may have been in court Monday morning, but Dessarae was not. When she missed the hearing, and learned that Farrell had been granted the restraining order, Dessarae submitted a 3 page handwritten sob story about how her car had run out of gas suddenly and left her stranded in the middle of the road. She also went on about the struggle to get through to the courthouse and the judge over the phone, and then finished off with something about not being able to afford representation but still being “fully prepared.”

Okay, so let me get this straight: First she filed suit against Farrell for harassing her and lost. Second she jumps up onstage during his interview on the Tonight show and ends up yelling “I’ll see you in court!” as she’s dragged away. And then third she lets her car run out of gas on her way to the court proceeding? (Apparently having enough gas to get there isn’t her idea of being prepared).

I say deal with the restraining order and just stay away from the guy. You know, quit while you’re ahead- or at least before you get even more behind.

I know Farrell’s no angel but something rings “screwy” with this whole scenario. Good luck Colin.

I guess “American Pie,” “American Pie 2″ and “Van Wilder” weren’t enough to get Tara Reid remembered. Watch the video as she gets denied entry into the cool club. It’s OK, Tara. You can always go find a nice alley to drink nail polish in. Oh, but Paris gets in – and she didn’t even have to “work” at fame. Maybe you should scrogg some scrub in night vision and you’ll be remembered again, yes?

Or you could stop dressing like the bag lady who owns 10 cats. But hey, don’t let me tell you how to run your life. You just might want to stay away from the Thunderbird for a while. Because right now, you kind of sound like the obnoxious rag girlfriend of the d-bag frat dude who claims every guy is trying to feel you up right before you vomit in the sink.

I hear they’re making direct to video sequels of “American Pie” now. Maybe you could do that, and teenage boys will remember you again … and not just for the boob slip video. Hey, you gotta work in your market.

Most likely another false alarm, but according to according to US Weekly via TMZ , Jessica Simpson has a new man in her life – John Mayer.

But I wouldn’t put too much stock in this… yet. Lately any guy who happens to stand next to Jessica Simpson long enough to have a picture taken with her is being labeled as her new boyfriend.

Also, didn’t John Mayer used to be good looking? What happened? Maybe it’s just in comparison to Jessica’s spray-on bronze, but he looks like Frakenstein.