This is the only thing that will save her album sales.

Yesterday Colin Farrell was in court to obtain a restraining order against Dessarae Bradford- a woman who had filed a suit against Colin back in April and then had made a spectacle of herself on the Tonight Show in July when she allegedly accosted him onstage.

Colin may have been in court Monday morning, but Dessarae was not. When she missed the hearing, and learned that Farrell had been granted the restraining order, Dessarae submitted a 3 page handwritten sob story about how her car had run out of gas suddenly and left her stranded in the middle of the road. She also went on about the struggle to get through to the courthouse and the judge over the phone, and then finished off with something about not being able to afford representation but still being “fully prepared.”

Okay, so let me get this straight: First she filed suit against Farrell for harassing her and lost. Second she jumps up onstage during his interview on the Tonight show and ends up yelling “I’ll see you in court!” as she’s dragged away. And then third she lets her car run out of gas on her way to the court proceeding? (Apparently having enough gas to get there isn’t her idea of being prepared).

I say deal with the restraining order and just stay away from the guy. You know, quit while you’re ahead- or at least before you get even more behind.

I know Farrell’s no angel but something rings “screwy” with this whole scenario. Good luck Colin.

I guess “American Pie,” “American Pie 2″ and “Van Wilder” weren’t enough to get Tara Reid remembered. Watch the video as she gets denied entry into the cool club. It’s OK, Tara. You can always go find a nice alley to drink nail polish in. Oh, but Paris gets in – and she didn’t even have to “work” at fame. Maybe you should scrogg some scrub in night vision and you’ll be remembered again, yes?

Or you could stop dressing like the bag lady who owns 10 cats. But hey, don’t let me tell you how to run your life. You just might want to stay away from the Thunderbird for a while. Because right now, you kind of sound like the obnoxious rag girlfriend of the d-bag frat dude who claims every guy is trying to feel you up right before you vomit in the sink.

I hear they’re making direct to video sequels of “American Pie” now. Maybe you could do that, and teenage boys will remember you again … and not just for the boob slip video. Hey, you gotta work in your market.

Most likely another false alarm, but according to according to US Weekly via TMZ , Jessica Simpson has a new man in her life – John Mayer.

But I wouldn’t put too much stock in this… yet. Lately any guy who happens to stand next to Jessica Simpson long enough to have a picture taken with her is being labeled as her new boyfriend.

Also, didn’t John Mayer used to be good looking? What happened? Maybe it’s just in comparison to Jessica’s spray-on bronze, but he looks like Frakenstein.

Dropped Tuesday, Jessican Simpson’s new album A Public Affair gave many fans the music they’d been waiting for. Unfortunately, Simpson’s plans to promote her new album fell through when she had to cancel a Today show appearance due to laryngitis.

Originally, Today host Matt Lauer had announced that Simpson’slive concert in New York’s Rockefeller Plaza had been postponed until Friday. However, PEOPLE correspondents learned that she is also expected to stop by the NBC morning show on Wednesday.

Jessica’s rep, Rob Shuter, issued a statement to people that “Jessica has lost her voice on the eve of her album release. We hope she can recover. The timing could not have been worse.”

Read the full story here.

Inga Marchand (a.k.a. Foxy Brown) recently pled guilty on two counts of third degree assault for punching, kicking and bruising two manicurists in New York. Apparently this is how Foxy handles situations where she is charged for services she didn’t receive. The salon charged Ms Brown for both a manicure and a pedicure, when in fact she had only received the pedicure. When faced with her bill she took her cellphone and whacked an unsuspecting manicurist on the head, which was only the beginning of her embarrassing physical temper tantrum.

Foxy Brown received three years probation for the assaults as well as being required to attend anger management classes. In addition, the manicurists both received protection orders against the rapper.

Seriously, what’s wrong with these celebrities having so much anger and using cell phones of all things as weapons? I don’t know what to say other than Grow Up!

OMFG _ I’m laffing my ass over this one.

Of all the bands I have hated over the past five years or so, The Libertines are right up there. And it’s not just because of the faux-pub rock. It’s because they’re a bunch of mooks who do nothing more than stumble around more and more pathetically, and sound like hell while they do (or did, I suppose, it.)

And none of them is more of a loser than Pete Doherty, currently heading Babyshambles when he’s not in jail or rehab or Kate Moss.

“But Pete Doherty just has drug problems!” you might say. Well, he certainly does. But now he’s starting to look like the late 20s guy who gives coke to teenagers so they’ll sleep with him. Yep, he gave drugs to a kid in rehab. Thanks, Pete, for proving to all of us that you’re really as stupid as you look.

We’ve had jailed rock ‘n’ rollers before. But I think Pete is the strung-out straw that broke the heroin mule’s back. I’m just glad this means I won’t have to listen to any more Babyshambles.