I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.

(Thanks to Michael K. at DListed for the merged pic. Original pics from Janet Charlton.)

So yeah, okay, Mad and Jenny Shimizu look alike. Must be… the mohawk.

Ms. Emma Rose Roberts. Lovely, talented, teenaged and already building a nice career in movies like Blow and Aquamarine. Who is she really? Where did she come from? Check out those teeth, ladies and gents. Her dear auntie is the unforgettable Julia Roberts!

I wish my auntie could give me a gift like that. “Happy birthday, honey! Here is a million dollar career and a memorable smile. Use them well.” All I ever get are funky socks!

Read all about this upstart at Hollywood.com.

Rob Schneider, the master of the ridiculous, had a run in with realty today. While shooting at a women’s prison in Cali, he collapsed under the strain. Yes, he’d been ill, and yes the temperatures were outrageous, but lets get real. This is a women’s prison, sonny, how bad could it be? I’m sure the man wasn’t eating the prison food or working in a chain-gang. (Do they still do that?)

You can read a full report at IMDb

Wacky diva Mariah Carey is reportedly on a bizarre ‘purple-food only’ diet to stop her getting wrinkles.

A source tells The Sun. “It sounds off-the-wall but it’s a huge injection of healthy food in one go. Purple products are nature’s best weapons in the battle against ageing. There’s a saying that, ‘A plum a day keeps a facelift away.’”

-Entertainmentwise

I… don’t even know what to say about this.

Lovely and talented Golden Globe winner Mariska Hargitay of Law & Order: SVU finally gave birth to her first child, a boy named August.

Here’s what Lucifer/FOX News has to say about it:

Mariska Hargitay, star of TV’s “Law & Order: SVU,” and her husband Peter Hermann welcomed their first child, her publicist told The Associated Press.

Hargitay, 42, and Hermann, an actor, married in August 2004.

Anyway, basically the whole point of this is to post a picture of Christopher Meloni. Hummina.

It’s official. The Newlyweds are finally over, dunzo, totally effing finito, with obviously no possibility for the reconciliation that’s been hinted at by the tabs for months. This actually makes me kind of sad. Granted, she’s dumber than a rock, but they seemed in love. I really thought these crazy kids were gonna make it.

From People:

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey look like they’re on their way to a speedy divorce, according to legal papers filed in L.A. County Superior Court.

The former Newlyweds are asking the judge to “bifurcate” the case, meaning to make the divorce official without settling all the financial details of the split. The decision should come within a month’s time.

At least Jessica will always have her amazing performance in Dukes of Hazzard to fall back on.

Is it weird that I totally want Nick Lachey’s new album?

From The Post Chronicle:

An arrest has been made in the case of the stolen Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt photographs. Yes, ‘Brangelina’ have their baby shower pictures back.

Guagenti indicated yesterday that she wasn’t at liberty to go into the details of the arrest, which allegedly took place on Tuesday in California.

My instincts tell me Jen was behind this. I bet Vince put her up to it. He’s so wacky!

I’m just curious if you can get in trouble for selling someone’s bad breath?

In news absolutely no one cares about, Taylor Hicks’ first crush has finally been FOUND!! I didn’t know she was lost. Oh well.

Apparently this chick was the first object of Taylor Hicks’ affections. If you don’t mind, I’d rather refer to her as The Luckiest Woman Alive. I mean, seriously. Look at this guy.

People writes:

Just two weeks after American Idol winner Taylor Hicks told PEOPLE about his very first crush, the magazine received a call from the object of his affection, Christy Lee Worsham.

“He was such a fun kid,” Worsham recalls, and adds that she wouldn’t mind catching up with the Soul Patrolman. “I’m married,” she tells PEOPLE. “But I’d love to reconnect. He was like a brother to me.”

This is stupid. I should have never posted this.

Alright, the competition has kicked itself up a notch! Angleina posed for nude paintings during her pregnancy, but wouldn’t let anyone see them. Maybe they aren’t even real … hmm … Facing this Britney had to pose nude on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar! She looks lovely, even is we don’t believe she’s any closer to her natural hair color, but what will be next? Gwenyth flaunting herself on Leno?