I cant say how happy I am to hear that Nicole Kidman is finally engaged.
Keith Urban seems like a real down to earth, down under, sort of guy. And the pictures I’ve seen of them together (which is like two) seem really sweet. I like her. I like her breast friend Naomi Watts. I also like Cate Blanchett. I’m all about Aussies right now, I guess, although not a crazy among them so my quest for a new favorite crazy celebrity continues (though I suspect Teri Hatcher is on the brink!). The cat came out of the bag as Nicole corrected a People Magazine reporter (finally!) by saying, “He’s actually my fiance. I wouldn’t be bringing my boyfriend (to the event).” Awwwwwe.

Poor Matt LaBlanc. ‘Joey’ has been cancelled after NBC called it a “catastrophic ratings failure.” I wouldn’t say catastrophic… I just didn’t watch it. But here’s the deal. I did watch one episode, and it was fine – as in mediocre. Like most television. There are a number of other shows that need to be axed WAY before Joey. These are shows that the dialogs are so painful I either have to change the channel or stab my self in the butt with the sharp end of a skewer (always kept handy within reaching distance of the couch for such emergencies).
Here’s my list.

TV shows that MUST GO:

Yes Dear
7th Heaven
Bones
Crossing Jordan
American Idol
Geraldo At Large (yes this is a real show)

You may not have heard of him yet. And all I have to say is, have you been to your local comedy club?

This up and coming comedian is my FAVORITE for a number of reasons. He’s hysterical, he goes down on me and his mom takes me shopping.

Okay, yeah, he’s my paper boy, but don’t discount him just yet. He’s really one of the funniest comic’s I’ve seen and he’s headed for a television near YOU. Also, it’s my birthday today and I’m allowed to go on and on about whatever the hell I want. My age is none of your business, but if you know what’s good for you, you will a) not ask and b) check out Shannon’s website at www.intellectualdelinquent.com.

So she’s having Marc Anthony’s baby. I can only presume. She hasn’t changed men in a while, so he’s a safe bet.

She hasn’t fessed up just yet, but Jennifer Lopez has cancelled her up coming concert tour without explaination, and reports say that she has been spotted with a small bump on her belly (which is how the rest of us look normally, but I’ll let it go).

I once read that Jennifer insured her famous ass for $4 million. I wonder if that includes childbirth…
All I’m saying is look at the size of this ass.

Anyone who watched Ally McBeal as religiously as me (no making fun) would know that Portia de Rossi prolly had an eating disorder. Okay, and maybe people who didn’t watch Ally (your loss) would prolly notice it too.

But Portia says her girlfriend Ellen DeGeneres saved her from anorexia. Born in Australia (didn’t know that), Rossi said she suffered with the eating disorder since she was 14. The illness intensified with her casting on Ally McBeal.
In her own words: “Learning to be more honest is probably the biggest influence that Ellen has had on me. We’ve talked a lot about this, which is a big thing for me. Ellen has never really worried about her weight and is more on the side of feeling angry that for women to be perceived as beautiful, they need to be skinny.”

I have to admit, I think they are both hysterical. And funny is hot. I’d make out with both of them. Does that make me gay?