For those of you with an unhealthy preoccupation with a celebrity, now you can see them in their skivvies.
No paparrazi required.
A new website called StarDoll at www.paperdollheaven.com lets you play dress up with your favorite celebrities.
Starting with a speedo-clad Johnny Depp, you can choose clothes from a small rack, along with hats, shoes, belts and the like. Dress him up like Johnny Brasco or a pirate. The sky’s the limit. Not that I did that. I’m just saying it MIGHT be fun.
You can also smear wacky makeup and hair color all over your favorite (or least favorite) female celebrity. I was dissapointed to find that there was not cross-dressing option. Not that I wanted to do that. I’m just saying SOMEONE might want to do that. Some else. Other than me.
Check out Conan O’Brien in Usher’s clothes. Priceless.
Tom does not like you to talk smack. Or trash his movies. Or squirt water in his face. Or call him gay. Or make fun of his religion. Or call his relationship a sham.
For that reason, Tom has threatened to sue just about everyone over the last few months.
In October, Tom threatened to sue the satirical www.ScienTOMogy.info (which I recommend!) for making fun of his Scientologist ways. The site makes fun of Tom Cruise with unflattering archive television footage, videos and cartoons. The site says: “The site is purely satirical and is for entertainment. It contains no fact nor claims to do so and is completely non-commercial. The site clearly states in its header, ‘This site has absolutely no connection whatsoever with the Church of Scientology, it’s affiliated organizations or, needless-to-say, Tom Cruise’. It is designed for commentary and criticism within the limits of Free Speech.” In short: ITS A JOKE.
Last week, Tom threatened to sue biographer Andrew Morton for hiring a gay porn star to get to the bottom of Tom’s private life. Retired Los Angeles private investigator and former gay adult actor Paul Baressi will finally tell us all if Tom Cruise is gay. Not that I really care. But Tom seems to really care that people think he’s gay. Tom’s lawyers said: “I wrote a letter to Mr. Morton back in November and said he obviously was entitled to write the book but ‘make sure you check your facts’. If he tries to use my letter to create the impression that Mr. Cruise did have a gay affair, we will certainly sue… because the story is false. Mr. Cruise is not gay.” Methinks he protests too much.
This week it’s Life & Styles cover story stating that sources close to the couple say their relationship is “essentially over” and that they are keeping up the pretense until the baby is born. Again, lawyer to the rescue: “This is a disgusting and malicious story. It is unequivocally false and I have already demanded a retraction. I will be sitting down with Tom in the next couple of days to discuss this story, and ultimately it’s his call as to whether we bring a lawsuit. But if it was up to me, I would sue.” Life & Style stand by their story 100%. On the other hand, Tom stands 100% with his gay ass by his fake girlfriend and reserves the right to jump on couches and call you glib.
Baring ALOT of skin in magazines since her separation from 4-year husband Brad Pitt apparently is not getting the desired attention. In an upcoming movie – ironically called “The Breakup” – Aniston apparently bares it all, and by bare I mean sans hair. Aniston’s “ex” in the movie is played by rumored boyfriend Vince Vaughn, who starred in “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” with Brad and Angelina Jolie during their suspected affair.(I think he must be telling her all the dirt!)
Anyway, in said movie, Aniston apparently gets a ‘Telly Savalas’ beauty treatment (waxing off all body hair) and walks around the apartment shared by her and her ex – played by Vaughn. I think that might get a little attention. And Vince Vaughn can only reply with, “You’re so money, and you don’t even know it!”
I don’t even think Kate Moss wants to be Kate Moss right now.
But as a result of an obession with Brit supermodel Kate Moss, Mary-Kate Olsen has made it clear that she wants to play Moss in a movie. No such project is in the works, but Olsen just wanted to put it out there. Just so people know. However, the Olsen Twins have more money than God, so it will likely happen in a ‘New York Minute’. Get it? They made a movie called New York Min… nevermind. I can’t believe I KNOW that.
Apparently, Mary-Kate empathizes with Kate Moss on various levels. A source said Mary-Kate sees herself and Moss as “independant, free spirits” and “survivors.” The source went on to say that, Mary-Kate “was so worried about her when she went into rehab and she even wrote her a really nice letter offering her support and friendship.” In preparation for the role, Mary-Kate says she has started doing a lot of cocaine with plans to date a skinny Brit rocker.
The man who brought us the charming “One Night in Paris”, apparently has gotten his hands on a sex tape involving wife-beater wearing Kid Rock, and the Jesus loving leather pant wearing Scott Stapp. Yikes. The tape shows Stapp and Rock involved in “explicit sex acts with groupies” during which they are having a conversation with EACH OTHER. Yikes yikes.
My burning question is this: Are they so hard up that they couldn’t afford to make individual sex tapes. I’d never pay to watch two has-beens having sex with teens who won’t even admit to knowing them now. Though I might download it for free.
Kid Rock had his hay day for sure. But he was kitchy – never HOT. And I can think of nothing worse than picturing him having sex with anyone – even Pam Anderson. That relationship was like the skinny 14-year-old who discovers his sexuality with the hot, horny neighbor’s wife. I’ve seen that movie and it SUCKED. And if anyone else read Scott Stapp’s whiney bitch I’m-a-victim-of-my-fame interview in Rolling Stone last month, you’d know that there is nothing less hot than Scott Stapp right now. Just say no to porn starring washed up rockers!
In other news: Stapp married former Miss New York Jaclyn Nesheiwat last week at a black-tie ceremony in Miami, Florida. He was arrested for public drunkenness the following day at Lax airport, while en route to his honeymoon in Hawaii. That lucky lady…
Oscar nominee George Clooney was left red-faced when an award he received fell apart during an acceptance speech last week. The SYRIANA star was at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival to receive top honour the Modern Master Award.
After Clooney’s sincere acceptance speech, he held the award over his head during which the flimsy trophy broke into two pieces and fell to the floor. An embarrassed Clooney made light of the situation by saying, “Did you do this to (2004 winner) Peter Jackson, too?”
Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were SO high fiving each other after the Super Bowl. I’m sure they laughed and laughed that they can, after all these years, get censored. Just before taking chasing some Aspirin with a high fiber shake.
In short, NBC/NFL edited the line “you make a dead man come” in “Start me up” and a reference to “cocks” – the farm animal (double entrendre?) – was edited in the new song “Rough Justice”.
In the media, however, they were outraged.
“The Rolling Stones thought the censorship of their songs by the NFL/ABC was absolutely ridiculous and completely unnecessary,” said their spokeswoman. “There were many many conversations back and forth and the band clearly was not happy about it.”
Mick was additionally dissapointed that he was not able to show his nipple (per the Janet Jackson fiaso last year) but veiwers got pleanty-o-views of his mid drift.
Grampa was a Rolling Stone!
This picture is awesome.
It’s like Bono is giving the condescending pat on the arm we’d all like to give George W.
I can’t mask the fact that I think Bono is an extraordinary person. It’s easy to poo-poo famous people who do good by saying that they are grand-standing or seeking publicity. It’s even easier to say that Angelina Jolie, Richard Gere, Sting, Susan Sarandon, and the like are crazier than a shit house rat.
But who cares what their motivations are? At least they are doing something. With that much money at their disposal, I’m sure it’s easy for celebs to become very apathetic about world issues. But Bono’s dedication to last year’s Live 8 as well as other causes inspires me. And the fact that he can even gain the ear of the president for a few minutes is impressive. Granted, the president was probably spacing off and thinking about playing with a ball of yarn (per Will Farrell’s impersonation on SNL). But at least Bono can say, ‘Yes, the President sat and stared at me blankly while I told him he was a c*** sucking, self agrandising son of a b****, who can kiss my lilly white a**,’ right to his face.
Now that’s celebrity.
Okay we get it, Teri.
You’re just like the rest of us. You make mistakes and spill shit.
For some reason, Teri Hatcher loves to remind her adoring public about what a regular gal she is. I think she likes to play up her girl-next-door image.
Her latest installation comprised her spilling glass of champaign on her Vera Wang chiffon during a limo ride to the SAG awards. If I had a nickle for every time this happened to me…
Hatcher explained, “The chiffon color suddenly turned maroon – a nightmare scenario.” The panicked star needed to dry out her soaked dress quickly and yelled at the driver to, “Blast the heat!” She added, “All the heat is coming out of all the vents and three of us have got my dress, holding it over the heaters in the back of the car. And it worked! It totally dried by the time I got up to the thing (red carpet) and I was fine!”
The part she DIDN’T talk about is that the heat melted off the orangey fake tan she sports at awards shows. When she noticed that she wasn’t quite as tan as Felicity Huffman, she called her agent and sobbed.
(Note: If you didn’t read the Vanity Fair article last year, Teri burst into tears and made a call during a photo shoot because the other “wives” insisted that she not be in the center of the photo. Do I gotta explain everything to you?)
Okay so there’s actually very little to substantiate my little theory, but I think I’ve really uncovered something.
Over the years I’ve been watching Calista Flockhart and Fiona Apple very closely – and only just recently have I uncovered their little secret. Aha! They are actually twins, separated at birth!
Here’s the evidence I’ve collected so far:
1. Both bear a striking resemblance to each other
2. Both wafer thin
3. Both big in the 90’s but let careers wain in recent years because of “the Man” – i.e. Sony and Harrison Ford
4. Both very private and make rare public appearances
5. In their respective artforms, both play the part of moody, empowered, post-feminist saps
More to come… just remember you read it here first!
