Pop Crunch

Archive for December, 2005

Why I have a crush on Jay McCarroll

jay.jpgYou may not recognize the name.
He’s that flamboyant, pink tuke wearing designer, and winner of Bravo’s ‘Project Runway’ last season. Okay, so maybe you didn’t watch that…
All I have to say to that is, ‘Either you’re in or your out.’
(Little Heidi Klum reference there for ya).

In any case, you should have watched it because it was exciting to see the new (and sometimes downright boring – I’m looking at you Wendy Pepper) designs of the contestants. But more than that, it was really good reality TV. It’s one of he few reality shows out there where people actually have to have a skill and a career path besides reality TV. Besides that, however, it was the same closet-talking back-stabbing shit you see everywhere else.
Except for Jay.

pic_runway_ep11_jay_7.jpgHe was seriously the only person on that show that would say the same thing to a person’s face as he did to the camera. And the stuff he said wasn’t just catty – it was his honest opinion. Maybe they cut out his catty stuff, but I dug his candor. Also his designs were the most original, the most edgy, and the most different than anything today on the runway. Which, I guess, is why he won.

And which, I guess, they’ve given him his own show on Bravo called, creatively, ‘Project Jay.’ They haven’t announced when it will air – probably next year sometime – but I’m STOKED about it. I’m excited to see what Jay will do with his prizes: representation with an agency, a spread in Elle, mentorship from Banana Republic, and $100K to start his own line. I’m STOKED.

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A reason to hope Tom Cruise will shut it

tom-cruise.jpgI hope we see a different Tom Cruise in 2006. A quieter one. Shhh, Tom. Just shhhh, okay.

Whoever was to blame for Cruise’s 2005 publicity debacles, it worked in a way. He had our undivided, mortified attention. Tom’s decision to can his sister-publicist (dubbed ‘publisister’ by some) last month could indicate that she was a simply a shitty publicist.

But it’s possible that the publicity stunts were Tom’s idea or a joint effort, and someone has to take a fall for him to save face. Whoever is to blame, all we’ve seen since March is Tom’s love sick exclaimations, self-righteous cajoling and his midget self bounding on Oprah’s couch.

Let’s just recap Tom’s worst and worser of 2005 shall we?

March: Tom fires his long-time publicist and hires his sister
April: Tom goes public with his new ‘relationship’
May: Tom declares his love for Katie Holmes by bounding Oprah’s couch and punching the air
May: Tom slams Brooke Sheilds for the using anti-depressants
June: Tom drives Scientology into the brains of anyone within earshot, scoffs at others’ basis in reality
June: Matt Lauer’s questions (he interviews people FOR A LIVING) makes him ‘glib’ according to Tom
June: Tom gets squirted in the face on the red carpet by British comedian – lectures him like my grampa
October: Tom ‘impregnates’ Katie Holmes
November: Tom buys at-home ultrasound machine – to keep an eye on midget alien baby inside Katie – despite FDA warnings
November: Tom fires sister, hires veteran publicist
December: Tom takes Katie to a toy store for her birthday – takes a plush Tinky-Winky home in her place

Cruise’s behavior and statements this year have drawn fire from many very important and famous people besides myself – Lauren Bacall, Brooke Sheilds, even Tom lover cutie-petutie Rosie O’donnell. I can only hope that Tom will wise up and shut it, if for no other reason than to ease the cries of his innocent alien baby.

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The White House gives Anna Nicole a leg up

The Bush Administration is all for the little guy. And by little guy I mean a woman with big tits.

To help out little guy and fellow Texan Anna Nicole, President Bush is lending her his top solicitor to help argue her Supreme Court appeal. Regardless of the money she must of made on those top-notch Trim Spa commercials, Smith is still fighting for the millions of dollars owed her by the death of her husband oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II. And I did say OWED to her – I wouldn’t have sucked that cock for nothing either.

annanicole.jpgThe White House says its involvement is purely to protect federal court rulings over state rulings. Since the white house is aiming for a conservative majority on the Supreme Court, I can see why setting a (very high profile) precedence is important. First it’s Anna Nicole’s millions, then it’s Roe V. Wade. Watch out ladies.

The supreme court has until early next year to decide whether U.S. Soliciter General Paul Clement will be allowed to share time with Smith’s attorney during the one hour hearing. According to reports, Smith will be in attendance. It’s expected that she’ll stumble around, pose, and ask people if they like her body.

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Letterman, you heartbreaker

That gap-toothed Dave Letterman has a way with the ladies. Unfortunately for one misled woman, a restraining order against that wiley Dave Letterman – a Connecticut resident – requiring that he stay at least 3 yards away from her – in Santa Fe – has been dropped.

112940__letterman_l.jpgThe Santa Fe woman, Colleen Nestler, claimed that Letterman used coded references on his late night show to cause her “mental harrassment and hammering”, “mental cruelty” and “sleep deprivation.” Nestler’s application for a restraining order was accompanied by a six-page typed letter in which she said Letterman used code words, gestures and “eye expressions” to convey his desires for her via the television set.

Nestler started writing “thoughts of love” to Letterman after his show began in 1993, and apparently he responded in code words and gestures. Nestler said Letterman asked her marry him during a “teaser” for his show by saying, “Marry me, Oprah.” Nestler claimed that Oprah was a code name for her, but that the code increased and changed with time.

In her own words: “I appealed to the court for a restraining order to keep this man away from me, but now that’s been denied me. He has access to me. He can actually come for me or send people. He has many accomplices. I know this sounds crazy. I was crazy to have listened to him in the beginning.”

Good call. If want to talk to someone through the TV, I go with Conan O’Brien everytime.

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Courtney Love going for broke

In addition to generally losing it, Courtney Love is losing a home in Washington state due to money problems. Failure to pay $367,000 in loans and legal fees has resulted in foreclosure with a Jan. 6 auction date. Purchased in 1997 by Love, court records show that Love has not made payments since 2003.

Love’s existance has been troubled since (and likely before) the suicide of husband Kurt Cobain in 1994. Now 41, Love has watched her career plummet as she deals with various addictions, which unfortunately include plastic surgery. The result has been a series of intoxicated public appearances with an ever-morphing face.

clcrotch.jpgMost recently, Love attended Comedy Central’s roast of Pamela Anderson in August. Among other things, Love guffahed and squirmed in her seat, flashed her panties at the crowd, and acted high as a kite. In the words of Comedy Central’s publicist, she was ”acting like Tom Cruise on acid.” Before that, I recall her crashing a VH1 interview with Madonna by throwing her shoes from the street below, not to mention her perpetually irratic behavior at awards shows and terrible fashion sense.

It’s a dirty shame that Kurt’s former wife and grunger should come to this, but that’s the way of rock and roll. It doesn’t age well. It’s possibe that if he’d lived longer, Kurt Cobain would have gone the way of Courtney Love – turning out like Ozzy Ozborne or Axel Rose. Rocked out and a little sad. Who wants to punch me?

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