20 reality stars who have no real-world skills
Another of the Real Housewives of New Jersey with nothing to back up her words besides more words, Danielle Staub’s main claim to fame is probably goading Teresa Giudice into screaming that Giudice had “never called her a stripper” and then flipping over a table. Staub’s house was shorted a couple years ago as part of a bankruptcy sale, and she was last seen with fellow reality hanger-on Heidi Montag and something called Jake Pavelka on a VH1 show called Famous Food, in which Staub, Montag and Pavelka attempt to remake a restaurant “from the ground up.” It should be noted that none of the three have any restaurant experience. The show itself, which aired in mid-2011, averaged a 0.2 rating, and the restaurant that resulted closed after five months.
Kris Jenner is the main reason we have the Kardashians. A woman who has clearly never met a camera she didn’t love, or a situation she didn’t want to exploit, the former wife of both OJ defense attorney Robert Kardashian and Olympic legend Bruce Jenner, and the mother of Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kylie, and Kenner, has parlayed a knack for self-exploitation into a ubiquitous media-swallowing empire while seemingly offering nothing more to the world than endless glimpses into her life and the lives of her immediate family. Play to your audience all you like, Kris, it’s obviously working, but man – living that way must be exhausting.
One of MTV’s Teen Moms, Farrah Abraham has gone from giving birth as a teenager, to getting a facelift, to doing a swimsuit calendar and a porn film – a film which, much like Tila Tequila, she claimed had been made for “personal use” with an “ex-boyfriend” and had been “stolen”, even though the dude she was in it with was James g*ddamn Deen, who wasn’t shy at all about telling everyone who would listen that he was hired talent and that he and Farrah had never dated. There’s something to be said for being brazen, but how dumb does this girl think we are?
Jon “Jonny Fairplay” Dalton
Jon Dalton calls himself “Jonny Fairplay” and wouldn’t look out of place in a third-rate Nickelback cover band (or in Nickelback, for that matter.) There may be sadder things in the world than a 42-year-old man calling himself “Jonny Fairplay”, but it’s late and we don’t have the energy to go find them, except that this guy’s apparently enough of a goon that Survivor host Jeff Probst wants nothing at all to do with him anymore, calling him “despicable” and “an absolute jackass” and saying “I’m done with Jonny Fairplay.”
Courtney Stodden seems to have been fated for reality “stardom” since the womb; she first gained notice as a 16-year-old, when she married 51-year-old character actor Doug Hutchinson after an online relationship of between four and six months. She claims – surprise! – to have been “extremely spoiled” as a child, but “in a good way.” She’s released a handful of dance singles and posed for the usual magazines, and remains married to Hutchinson, which is sort of a pleasant, if creepy, surprise (although they did separate for a while).