20 reality stars who have no real-world skills
The woman who made Lindsay Lohan what she is (incidentally, anyone hear anything about her lately, or have we all just finally given up?), Dina Lohan is the worst kind of stage mother, the one who puts relentless pressure on her kid to succeed and then, when the kid does, isn’t content to hang in the shadows and live off the kid’s money. Dina wants fame of her own. Thankfully, she’s proven too crass and unlikeable even for reality TV junkies; Living Lohan sank without a trace, and about all people remember Dina for these days is getting banned from Carvel for overusing Lindsay’s “free ice cream for life” card.
Kamal “Chance” Givens
“Chance” has been on two different VH1 shows talking about what he loves. First, he loved New York (the model, not the city) and then he loved money. Apparently he didn’t love either of them enough, however, since he got booted from both of them at around the halfway point. They kicked him off I Love Money for being too “high maintenance.” If you get kicked off a reality show for being too high maintenance, it might be time to reassess your life a little. (His brother passed away last year, though, so in all sincerity: stay strong, Chance, hope you’re okay.)
Before exposing her family to the light on Growing Up Gotti, Victoria Gotti published two crime novels that would definitely have gotten published if her last name was, say, Schmidt or Williams. The daughter of murderous mobster John Gotti, her main claim to fame before becoming a writer/reality denizen was being the daughter of murderous mobster John Gotti. Her reality show died a quick death after she claimed to have breast cancer, which was subsequently revealed to be a huge exaggeration. Since then, she’s shown up on Real Housewives of New Jersey and Mob Wives and seen her mansion go into foreclosure.
The man who is singlehandedly keeping Ed Hardy in business, Jon Gosselin started getting tabloid inches as half of Jon & Kate Plus Eight, a show detailing the day-to-day lives of Gosselin and his then-wife Kate, who’d had six kids at once, to go along with the two kids they already had, because that’s always a terrific idea. Once the marriage inevitably fell apart, Gosselin was revealed to be a virtually unemployable would-be frat guy who washed out of jobs at a restaurant and a credit card company and wound up evicted from his house. As of last year, he was trying to put together a career as a DJ.
The other half of the unholy Gosselin duo, Kate of Jon & Kate Plus Eight has spent much of her time since that show ended finishing eighth on Dancing with the Stars – after which her dance partner claims he needed therapy – and beginning a new reality show, once again with her kids as the focal point. Apparently incapable of getting along with anyone for any length of time, a tell-all book released a couple of years ago claims she was in the habit of spanking her brood with a wooden spoon. The worst part of this all is that there’s nothing else to say about her, which, considering she’s got eight youngish children and a deadbeat ex, is kind of unsettling.