15 Totally Trashed Celebrities

People typically think that celebrities exist just to amuse the rest of us, and that viewpoint is partially true. Entertainers like actors and musicians sell tickets to those who want to see a dazzling show; their performance is supposed to amuse, captivate and appear somewhat magical. So when these shiny higher beings do something normal, like get trashed during a night out, the resulting video tapes are fawned over like gold by tabloids and celebrity gossip lovers. Sometimes, the footage will be more indicative of turmoil, like alcoholism or drug addiction. Whether it’s showing up to an interview completely hosed and unable to stay awake, or just making home videos documenting a crazy night in, here are some of the best videos depicting wasted celebrities.

David Hasselhoff

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David Hasselhoff has had a problem with alcoholism for quite a few years. His problem became public when his daughter, Hayley, decided to film some of his drunken escapades and post them on YouTube. The first video shows the Hoff drunk and cursing at his daughter while he sloppily tries to eat a cheeseburger. Lying topless on the shower floor, the burger falls apart in his hands only to be picked apart piece by piece and shoved into Hasselhoff’s drooling maw. The Hoff went to rehab in 2007, but was recently taken to the hospital for alcohol poisoning in 2009 when his 17 year old daughter found him passed out in a drunken coma in their home.

Stevo

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In 2006 Stevo visited the Adam Corolla show completely hosed. Corolla doesn’t get to ask him a single question before Stevo starts yelling random curse words and racial slurs. Smashing through a glass coffee table is ultimately what got him removed from the show. In 2009, Stevo was the subject of a biopic called Stevo: Demise and Rise that depicted his violent spiral into drug abuse followed by a hopeful trip to rehab.

Britney Spears

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Before Britney Spears was a mental mom with a shaved head and really bad outfits, she had a reality television show with ex-husband Kevin Federline. The show consisted of home movies taken by the couple on their digital camera — mostly the two of them doing nothing and getting drunk. In one clip, Britney drunkenly blubbers about her self described ‘ugliness.’ She slurs as she says “I feel like I’ve been missin’ out on life — like, things! And things!” and “Have you ever seen Back to the Future? Is that possible?”

Anna Nicole Smith

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Anna Nicole Smith is another celebrity partially famous for being completely wasted all the time. Unlike most others on this list, she is unfortunately now dead from a drug overdose. There are several videos of Smith in which she appears completely wasted, some meant to be private and others as public as presenting at an awards ceremony. At the American Music Awards, Smith screamed and slurred about a ‘beautiful duet’ she would perform in her next movie.

Her private life was a mess, too. In one video, a pregnant and inebriated Smith pushes a doll around in a baby carriage while in full clown makeup, eyes glazed over and asking if she were in ‘a mushroom trip.’

Ashlee Simpson

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In 2006, a customer recorded a cell phone video of pop starlet Ashlee Simpson throwing a fit inside a local McDonald’s. The lip-syncing, jig-dancing performer yells at an employee in a debate about whether or not the manager will be nice when he arrives. She tries to crawl over the counter but is pulled back by her friend.

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Oliver Reed

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Three Musketeers actor Oliver Reed was known for being a heavy drinker, a subject he hated talking about in interviews. Towards the end of his career, Reed was booked on a few talk shows for his drinking alone — Channel 4 put a hidden camera in his dressing room in hopes to catch him guzzling massive amounts of booze. They caught no such thing, but Reed’s appearance was definitely not a sober one, and he insults the female reporter by asking for ‘a kiss, big tits.’

More memorable is his appearance on Michael Aspel’s talk show, where he is said to have downed almost an entire mini bar. He comes out on stage screaming and stomping around like a mad man. Though author Cliff Goodwin speculates that Reed may have been playing up the role that others wanted to see him in and wasn’t necessarily much of a drunk at all, Reed began having kidney problems in 1987 from excessive drinking. He died, drunk as a skunk, on the set of Gladiator when he had a massive heart attack.

James Brown

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In this video, James Brown is being interviewed by a news station. The reporter is asking personal questions about his recent release from prison on bond, and the status of his rumored marital problems. Brown doesn’t want to talk about any of that. He’s tanked, closing his eyes and making exaggerated faces that are a drunk’s specialty. He mutters a string of words that we are pretty sure aren’t real words at all. Brown continually belts out the titles to a number of his songs, and ends the interview with a resounding and prolonged “HAAAA!”At least he was a happy drunk. And besides, Brown was known as “the hardest working man in show business,” — the man was entitled to his drink.

Alex Trebek

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This compilation of Alex Trebek as a drunken television host speaks for itself. Now we know about all the swigging that went on behind the scenes and during commercial breaks.

Amy Winehouse

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Amy Winehouse has so many videos of herself in an inebriated state that it’s hard to choose the best one. Once a phenomenally talented singer, Winehouse is now infamous only for being a drug addicted trainwreck. Her recent media appearances are completely comprised of bouts with the law resulting from physical fights, or photographs of a haggard looking wisp of a woman with a jutting, childlike gut on an otherwise meatless frame.

Amy Winehouse made a YouTube video of herself and rock star Pete Doherty cradling a box of newborn mice. How they obtained the animals is a mystery, but the couple tower over them and sing a wide-eyed song in baby voices. Winehouse begs her husband not to divorce her. Soon after, another video showed Winehouse asleep and open-mouthed on a couch surrounded by drug paraphernalia.

More recently, the R&B singer has been filmed performing on multiple occasions while clearly under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Her singing is slurred, she mumbles, and even forgets some of the lyrics to her own music.

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George Bush

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George Bush is one of the most infamous American presidents; he is generally known as a fumbling, illiterate moron. He says things like ‘Nucular’ and made a lot of bad decisions that left the country in massive amounts of debt after his departure from the throne. In a video long before his presidency, Bush is interviewed briefly at a party. He keeps repeating the phrase ‘only in America’ and downs the remnants of a glass filled with alcohol as the camera moves away.

Paula Abdul

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Paula Abdul was the goofy, ‘nice’ judge American Idol who used to be a pop singer herself. She showed up to judge the show drunk on a few different occasions. Once, she forgets that each competitor only performs once when praising a singer for his ‘first’ performance of the night. In a morning news interview, Paula sways in her seat and squints as she stumbles over answers that are sometimes not even relevant to the question being asked.

Paula tries to defend her drunken, slurring behavior on Idol as the result of a pain medication, but we know that just means drug addiction.

Verne Troyer

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Verne Troyer is everyone’s favorite alcoholic midget. His problem began to surface on The Surreal Life, when he got too drunk to take care of himself. His housemates put him to bed and he lay there, making strange noises like a dying animal. Troyer can also be seen drunkenly crashing his automatic wheelchair into a door during a season of Big Brother. Troyer has been in and out of rehab for alcoholism, and has also been accused of sex addiction by ex-girlfriend Genevieve Gallen.

Ben Affleck

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American movie star Ben Affleck is seen wasted and groping an interviewer, Anne Marie Losique. He gets up close and personal with the woman when he asks her why she isn’t wearing one of her typically revealing outfits, inquiring about all the cleavage he’s missing out on. Flustered, the woman laughs and squirms in his arms as he moves his hands over her and mumbles inappropriate things. She probably wouldn’t have been so jovial about it if the groper weren’t a super sexy guy like Affleck.

Pete Doherty and Kate Moss

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Rock star Pete Doherty and international supermodel Kate Moss make a weird YouTube video in which they sing and parade around a little bit. They don’t look as messy as some of the others on this list, and are certainly doing well in comparison to less flattering pictures of themselves during the dredges of drug abuse. This video looks more like what a few drunken teenagers would make after a day at school; Doherty strums his guitar and hums a tune while Moss marches around in a ridiculous soldier’s outfit.

Tracy Morgan

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American comedian and star of comedy sitcom 30-Rock can be seen wasted in a 2007 interview on KVIA. Even in an inebriated state, Morgan is a true comedian. And unlike others, his drunkenness doesn’t appear sad but hilarious — it is even questionable as to whether he would act any different had he been sober.