15 Most Improbable Celebrity Fatoshops
We love celebs. They’re simply so fun to laugh at. Still, we reckon any of them with a sense of humour would be laughing along at these images of themselves ballooning out big-time – with the help of a little Photoshop trickery, of course. Supersize is the celebrity way with these 15 blimp-like creations. To coin an expression, we’re going to call them Fatoshops.
15. Carmen Electra
Beached whale? No, Carmen Electra looking the way she would if she put on a pound or two… hundred. You can almost imagine the right-on brigade wishing the stars of Baywatch had actually been this horizontally challenged, thus reflecting the obesity problem in America. We’re not sure the rest of the viewing public would have been so pleased though. And we’re certain that all Playboy readers, but for the cushion-pushers, would have skipped on the issue featuring Carmen as this much of a fat ass.
14. Brad Pitt
Next up, it’s Brad Pitt, sporting wife beater and beer gut – or a white vest and abdominal fat if you want to get all boring about it. This one looks pretty believable actually. You can almost imagine the American A-lister, surrounded by the ever-growing ‘Brangelina’ brood, slowly cultivating his middle-age spread as offers for parts in movies get fewer. And fewer. And fewer…
13. Britney Spears
Britney’s our next Fatoshop, looking like ‘Oops! …I Did It Again’ was a song written about her inability to resist the urge to put her hand in the cookie jar. Pudgy is the word we’d use to describe this former child star turned troubled, booze-guzzling adult. Pudgy like the girl next door you would have. Unless, that is, she shaved off her hair. Then we definitely wouldn’t have.
12. Tom Cruise
It’s everyone’s favourite Scientologist, Tom Cruise, showing us how he’d look if people let inflated ideas about themselves go to their bodies as well as their heads. Tom pulls off the portly look quite well, doesn’t he? Yes, we think the image of a bloated business mogul most definitely behooves him. What’s more, if he were to turn into a prime lard ass, he wouldn’t be able to blame it on a “chemical imbalance” – as he told Brooke Shields, there’s no such thing.
11. Cameron Diaz
Aww, it’s cute little Cameron not looking so little. She’s just done gone and got a little too cuddly. At least she’s being awarded for her efforts. The girl who got her big break in There’s Something About Mary here shows us that with a little too much bingeing there could be something about Cameron: a prize muffin top protruding over her pants.
10. George W Bush
Who ate all the pies? Dubya did. At least he’s smiling about it. Fact, he looks positively smug. Greedy pig. The former president is better known for the crap that comes out of his mouth than the crap he puts in it, but this fat boy Photoshop proves if he doesn’t watch his diet, George Bush Junior could turn into a regular porker. At least that wouldn’t dent his public image in Texas.
9. Jennifer Lopez
Mmm, J.lo, she of the eminently squeezable booty – and here it would appear of the eminently squeezable everything. We wonder how the Latina diva cum actress would have fared on her rise to stardom with a double chin like this one holding her head up, plus an even more big ass body in tow obscuring the view down. Would she have been able to keep her feet on the ground? She wouldn’t even have been able to see her feet. Heck, she wouldn’t have got off the ground in the first place.
8. Ashton Kutcher
Ashton Kutcher – or should that be Ashton Kusher – is up next in this first rate Fatoshop of the normally quite slim-line American actor posing with wife and MILF supremo Demi Moore. Complete with cigarette hanging out of his gob, we imagine he’s trying out this look to show his better half he can match her former husband Bruce Willis as a slob – a role Bruce fulfilled with aplomb in the Die Hard movies, albeit with something less of a gut slowing him down.
7. Christina Aguilera
Feeding time continues at the celebrity zoo, with this bit of image manipulation wizardry illustrating how Christina Aguilera would look if she piled on the pounds as much as she did the make-up. By golly she’s practically bursting out of that dress! Gonna need a new zipper, Christina, or like your album you really would be stripped – in public – and it wouldn’t be the awesome sight we’d previously imagined.
6. Jim Carrey
Jim Carrey is known for having a bit of a jutting jaw line, but here’s how he’d look if it were complemented with a bulging neck. The Canadian-American comedian is known for having an elastic face – which has served him particularly well in movies like The Mask. Still, he’d need such elastic chops if he were to pork out like this – again, a circumstance easily within the bounds of possibility. Say no to that bed-time hot dog, Jim.
5. Amy Winehouse
Amy Winehouse is probably better known for the heavy weight loss she evidenced back in 2005 than any fat she’s gained since her apparent rehab from those widely publicized drug problems. However, it was recently reported that the ‘Back to Black’ singer has shown signs of returning to her more natural size. Here she is as she’d look if the weight gain program got a bit out of control. If ever there was an advertisement for not getting tattooed on your belly… Flab-tastic.
4. Michael Schumacher
Here’s Michael Schumacher in a fat Photoshop that depicts the Formula One racing legend doing an incredible impersonation of a beach ball and grinning for all he’s worth. Don’t they say fat people are happier than thin folks? We suspect old Schumy wouldn’t have been so cheerful if he was in this shape during his racing days. He wouldn’t have even been able to fit in the car.
3. Jessica Biel
Our next Fatoshop sees Jessica Biel looking a little coy as she fiddles with the pass around her neck while being snapped by some passing paparazzi. What’s she so shy about? Perhaps it’s the belly that’s been so brilliantly cultivated on her behalf. The actress definitely wouldn’t have been in 7th Heaven with a double chin like that. She’d have been roasting like a turkey cooked hell. Gobble, gobble!
2. Leonardo DiCaprio
Here’s another one of Hollywood’s supposed finest made to look more like a fat cat than an overrated actor. Yes this wide load is the once cherubic Leonardo DiCaprio looking truly titanic, but less Romeo than roly-poly. If all the stars in Hollywood were as chubby as Leo looks here there wouldn’t be room enough for the lot of them!
1. Ashley Judd
Our final celeb to get hit with the fat stick is Ashley Judd. The actress and cougar is known for her portrayal of strong women in films such as Kiss the Girls, but there are strong women and there are strong women. And this is just a bit too strong for our taste. But enough euphemisms. If Judd were ever to have children while looking like this, you can almost hear the kind of teasing the poor kids would get in the playground: “Yo momma so fat when her cell phone bleeps, people think she’s backing up!” A warning.