Network TV is a wasteland when it comes to smut. Those of you of a certain age might remember a time where the only chance you had of seeing a boob or hearing a swear word was to watch the scrambled cable Prism feed and hope for a really dirty softcore movie. Nowadays, it’s just a matter of time before smut arrives on the TV, but you must be ever vigilant or you could miss it.
Fox News is Open for Business
Fox News has got a lot of hot anchors. They need them if they’re going to sell GOP propaganda all day. Fox reached an unintentional high point when they hired this hot female anchor who didn’t know enough to cross her legs. Hey, maybe the GOP isn’t so bad.
No one is quite sure what this anchor said, but it’s pretty obvious what it sounds like he said. Maybe he just wanted to tell his friend to “Keep duck and that check in”, because you never know when you might lose your duck and an unsigned check. Then again, maybe he just wanted to make the blooper reel.
CNN Can’t Get Enough Nuts and Something Else
This CNN news anchor seems to have something on her mind and it’s not the airline. Well, she might be thinking of joining the mile high club. Still, what’s more perverted? Her many slip ups or that headline at the bottom of the screen?
With a Chance of Pedophile
In some jobs, titles are more important than others. And if you’re the guy in charge of writing the letters under the screen of your weatherman, it’s even doubly important not to mistake him for a sex offender, even if you always spell his name right. Just because Chris Hanson has high ratings, doesn’t mean you have to copy him. Why don’t you just have a seat?
That’s a Male Lion
News Anchor Loves Spanking
The funny thing about Freudian slips is that it tells you more about the person that said it then what they were talking about it. In this case, we have what turns out to be a very kinky news anchor. Better keep that gimp mask on tight the next time you’re in the club.
What is “You’re Making me Uncomfortable” Alex?
Alex Trebek has been the beloved host of Jeopardy for 250 years, but that doesn’t mean he’s not human. Oh, wait, it probably does. That would explain this creepy kind of reference to the contestants. Take your candy and go back to your unmarked van, Alex.
Maybe She Should Talk to Ruth Langsford
Ignorance is hilarious to everyone but the person who doesn’t know. This talk show host probably wishes she had paid attention when the teacher was explaining obvious lesbian buzzwords to the class. Looks like someone needs to do some pruning downstairs.
The only thing definitive about this next clip is that it probably shouldn’t be on the Nick channel. Icarly is for kids, but this next sequence is for an adult parody of Sesame Street called “Sleazy Street” or “Man has sex with animals street.”
Tip for Fox Reporter
Fox reporters are so hot, they get mistaken for strippers. This one is nice enough to thank the drunken fan who is tipping her. Maybe Fox & Friends should finally install that stripper pole and get it over with. Could be good for ratings.
Guess the Picture
On this English show, “Catch Phrase”, no one thought to screen what the animations would look like partially censored. In a way, it’s exactly what you’d expect. Maybe next time the game should be, see if you can look at this without laughing so hard you pee your pants.
Report Gets Humped, Video at 11
Nothing is worse than trying to do a serious news report while fans ogle you in the background. Oh, wait, there is something worse. It’s fans pretending to hump you in the background. She should’ve expected this from Philadelphia fans.
Fox Anchor Not Concentrating
In his defense, many men think of the same thing when imagining J-Lo. But what the Hell is a curb job? That sounds even dirtier than the most obvious thing! Maybe he should just stick to reporting about old, white guys in the GOP. Fox News must be staffed by very dirty minded individuals.
Nancy Grace’s Director Don’t Take Sh*t
Remember, if you have a staff, you should treat them well. Nancy Grace apparently forgot this rule when dealing with her director. The show quickly spirals out of control. It’s deliberate by the director, but completely unexpected by Nancy. Maybe next time she’ll be nicer at the office Christmas party.
Kangaroo Just Hangin’ Out
As they say, “Never work with children or animals”. What they don’t say is that animals are sometimes much, much worse. It’s highly unlikely a child will ever do something in the background this perverted. May God have mercy on your eyes.