14 Ways To Provoke Road Rage
Whether you commute on a day-to-day basis, or just cruise around for fun, there are always other drivers out there that do the most obnoxious things that make us rage. If not another driver, there are certainly many other annoyances that can make a driver’s blood boil. Here are 15 of these road rage inducing situations.
The “No-Look” Lane Change
When we are making our commutes from home to work and back each day, we usually encounter at least one of these moves. Someone decides that they have enough space for their Ford F350 to just jam right between you and the person in front of you. If their signal is on, they just go. It’s one of the most idiotic and infuriating driving techniques known to man. If you are one of these people, please — remember to look before you leap, because having an adrenaline rush after a long day at work is probably the last thing we need.
Braking On The Freeway
When we’re cruising down the freeway when the traffic is light, we like to take advantage and sometimes go a bit faster than the suggested speed limit. When we do this, we usually like to take advantage of using the passing lane (that’s the one of the left). Other drivers using the passing lane incorrectly really bother us, but even more so if the soccer mom driving it alternates her foot between the brake and gas pedal. We understand that you’re trying to obey the respectable speed limit, but there is no need to touch the brake pedal if there is nothing in front of you.
Miles-Long Turn Signals
Another very rage inducing driving maneuver, the miles-long turn signal, usually happens to us when we are traveling behind someone that either does not realize their turn signal is on, or is just being way too cautious in anticipating their turn off. What this does is signal to us that you’re totally oblivious to what’s going on around you, or that your music is too loud. It also tells us that you aren’t paying attention to what you’re doing, therefore making us worry for our own safety.
Not Using Turn Signals
Here’s the scenario: we’re sitting at an intersection, and it doesn’t appear to be very busy. Here you come, going slow as heck because driving 10mph below the speed limit feels safer to you, and I want to be courteous and allow you to keep traveling. You start to slow down as you approach us, and all of a sudden turn off, getting only a glance at the extended middle finger I have on display.
Stealing Your Parking Spot
An episode of Seinfeld once dealt with the subject of parking (a few times, actually) because it is one of the biggest annoyances when people either can’t do it right, or can’t do it fairly. Parallel parking is typically done in the fashion of driving ahead of the spot and reversing in. When we are waiting for traffic to bypass us, we like to back in safely. When you pull in face first and take the spot we’re signaling for, that’s grounds for getting beaten by whatever solid object I have inside of my car at the time.
Taking Up Two Parking Spots
Whether you drive a Hummer or a Mini Cooper, the possibilities are still there for you to be an idiot and take up two parking spots. You’re doing this for one of two reasons: either you’re worried about your precious paint, or you’re actually just the laziest human in the world. Secret option three is also that you’re visually impaired and should not be behind the wheel of anything with a motor in it (including a riding lawn mower).
No Room For Parallel Parking
Again, we address the issue of parking. This time, it’s not that there is anyone trying to steal the spot we’re trying to park in, but the fact that you are again taking up more space than you need. There is four feet behind you, and six feet in front of you. You’ve accomplished taking up two parking spaces yet again.
Just because you have a horn built into your car does not mean you should use it recklessly. It is meant to serve as a safety measure to warn or alert another driver of a potentially dangerous situation. If you’re honking at us because you’re impatient and don’t think that the kids crossing the street deserve to do it safely, then you can honk as much as you want, it’s only going to make us stop for a longer period of time — and make us want to put our car in park while we exit the vehicle to deal with you personally.
Not Letting You In
There is almost nothing that makes us stress out more when we drive than missing our turn due to the fact that some idiot just didn’t want to let us in. We start to sweat, we start to panic, and we just see your seemingly uninterested face start to crack a smile in the corner of your mouth. That’s the point when road rage can reach an extremely explosive level.
Some of us are familiar with this, others maybe not so much. When we are driving our friends or family, or even co-workers in a car pool, some of them may be inclined to direct you on how to drive. There is almost nothing as annoying as the source of frustration coming from within the interior of your own car. Telling us how to drive, or how to get from point a to point b is not something we want to hear unless we specifically ask. Thanks in advance!
Unexpected Car Troubles
Another huge piss-off when driving is actually not caused by other people, unless it happens to be your mechanic, or handyman neighbor that leaves a screwdriver in your engine bay before sending you on your way. Unexpected car troubles are absolutely horrifying to most mechanically challenged folks (read: most North Americans) especially if it is during one of our daily commutes.
Absurdly Annoying Bumper Stickers
These drivers are typically in a minivan. They are a proud parent of two children and two cats, and also a dog. We see them everywhere, those stick figure bumper stickers displaying how many stupid family members you have. Personally we feel like lonely guys should have one stick figure man, cool dudes should have a stick figure man plus a dog. Wait, no — that would be stupid.
Cyclists that Do Not Obey Traffic Rules
Most annoying to drivers in large cities, cyclists can really take dangerous gambles. Blowing through fresh red lights, weaving between cars, and generally being sneaky as hell and making sure you can’t see them at all.
Towns with Ridiculously Slow Speed Limits
This tactic is brought to you by the local police force usually, setting ridiculously slow speed limits in order to catch you and increase revenues. If you’re used to driving a certain speed on every other road, you don’t usually consider slowing that already sluggish pace down (unless it’s a school zone or other cautious area). Money made from traffic tickets are absolute bank for most law enforcement forces.
Written by Cowboy on June 29th, 2010 | Tagged as: Popular Culture