There’s something about cowgirls. No sooner does a sexy lady don a Stetson than she ain’t just a sexy lady any more but a hot little ranch girl who’ll not only roll round in the hay with you like a wild cat on heat, but lasso your ass if you step out of line, and down shots with you in the saloon until, well, until the cows come home. And don’t get us started on them riding those bucking broncos. They ain’t the only beasts with major horn around here.
12. Ali Landry
Oh, Ali Landry. If you were some nachos we’d be dipping you in cheese and salsa and eating you all night long. Here she is showing us cowgirls don’t need denim and leather to pull off the look. A bikini and boots (definitely the boots!) will do just fine thank you very much. Yessiree. The ex-Miss USA and Doritos chips spokeswoman hails from the South, so she fits the part just fine. And with those exotic Cajun looks we like to think she brings a touch of spice to the role. Spice and all things nice.
11. Mila Kunis
Now we’re assuming that even back in the pre-McCarthyite Wild West, Russian cowgirls weren’t a staple of the stables, but we’re willing to wager even the most hard-nosed (or homosexual) of stable managers would have made an exception in the case of super slender That ’70s Show, star Mila Kunis (anyhow, she’s Ukrainian born for chrissakes). Here, lacy underwear and a little denim waistcoat contrive to hug her frame in such a way that she’s practically falling off her chair in ecstasy. Yee-haw!
10. Adriana Lima
Here’s Adriana Lima as a highly convincing naughty cowgirl. One of two Brazilian beauties to get our ranch master’s seal of approval, this South American super model scores extra points for her topless pose, the sexy tilt of her hat – all but concealing her eyes – and that come-to-bed-with-me playing with a lock of her hair. The pierced bellybutton may not be stereotypically cowgirl, but let’s face it: if Adriana had been in Brokeback Mountain, it would have been a whole different story.
9. Pamela Anderson
Here’s Pamela Anderson from back in the days when she was the hottest piece o’ ass on the planet. With curves to make your mouth water, a ten gallon hat to match her ten gallon melons, and boots (definitely the boots!) to boot, we’ll even overlook the slightly corny stars ‘n’ stripes bikini and go Republican for the day. Not quite so sold on the velvet sofa, but if we got to break it in romping with Baywatch-era, Playboy-staple Pammy, would we be complaining? Would we f***!
8. Jessica Alba
The caption for this pic says simply: Jessica Alba is sexy cowgirl. We’re going to add to that statement and say Jessica Alba is arguably the hottest cowgirl this side of the Rio Grande. This is her in a promo shoot for 2005’s Sin City, in which she played exotic dancer Nancy Callahan, winning an MTV Movie Award for “Sexiest Performance”. Replete with bullet belt and studded bra, boy does the sultry Mexican American-French Canadian sexpot make us want to draw our pistols at dawn – or any time of day! Jessica is just plain juicy.
7. Ana BÃ¡rbara
Musical diva Ana BÃ¡rbara shows us what it means to smolder under a leather trench coat – but boy would we like to be sweating under there with her. As if the Latin sex goddess weren’t hot enough as it is, she’s also got a hair dryer blowing full pelt in her face. At least – for her sake and ours – the Mexican MILF is wearing little else: the compulsory hat, a cleavage-squeezing tied up shirt to flaunt her ample bosom, and a skirt slung just below her svelte waistline. Why assume the presence of panties?
6. Salma Hayek
After 2006’a Bandidas, Salma Hayek just had to make the cut, not least because in said Western romp she teams up with fellow Latin beauty Penelope Cruz – and wouldn’t you like to be sandwiched under a table between this pair during a bar room brawl? The Mexican American actress is another of our hotties who’s edging on MILF-dom, but that makes her scarcely less desirable in our eyes. Our only complaint, Salma: aren’t you a little overdressed for the part? A minor quibble.
5. Elle Macpherson
Being Australian might lead some to believe that former supermodel Elle ‘The Body’ Macpherson should be exempt from this list. Wrong on two counts. For one thing, down under they too have a cowboy tradition, with ranches known as stations. Second and more importantly, despite her senior years, Ms Macpherson is suh-mokin’ hot. The straw hat may be little small for your average 6′ cowgal, the wristwatch a little modern, but who can argue with a bikini – and a figure – like that?
4. Clare Kramer
VILF (Vampire I’d Like to F***) fans will know Clare Kramer for her portrayal of Glory, the evil villain from series 5 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but here the fine American actress shows she can hustle as a cowgirl. Reclining on that open top with her sexy gaze while rocking another takes on the stars ‘n’ stripes bikini, she makes you just want to climb right in and rev up the engine – the auburn-haired beaut sure looks like she could use a ride. Think we’ve just volunteered as designated driver.
3. Marisa Miller
If ever there was proof that swimwear and cowboy hats go together on women, it’s embodied in the uber-fine figure of Marisa Miller. The hot blond American model best known for her appearances in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues is also clearly a good sport when it comes to cutting it as cowgirl. Not that we’re surprised. This is a gal who’s been a pin-up everywhere from military ads to Harley Davidson promo material. We just look at the picture of this consummate pro and think: to be just beneath the surface of the water.
2. Alessandra AmbrÃ³sio
My God, Alessandra AmbrÃ³sio is one incredibly fine looking foxy lady. The Brazilian pin-up was described by Tyra Banks as “the future of the modeling world,” and we’re going to once again ignore national borders and say she may well be the future of the cowgirl world too. The sheriff’s badge on her bra, the superfluous bullet belt, the spades-themed ten gallon hat… it all means so little and yet it makes so much sense worn by this goddess among women. Hot-diggity damn.
1. Kim Kardashian
Whether swathed in a sarong or baring all but her butt with smoke rising in the air behind her, Kim Kardashian takes the crown as queen of our celebrity cowgirls. Indeed, that smoke makes us think one of two things: either the sexy celebutante with Armenian roots just scorched the ground she walked on, or a pistol went off – hers or ours, it could have been either. But seriously, Kim is further proof that a girl who can rock the cowgirl look needs no further recommendation.