If you’ve made it good as an actress or popstar, the chances are that your body is more or less perfect. Unfortunately, most actresses and popstars also have a bit of an attitude. And what clearer way is there to express the fact that you have a feisty side than to get a tattoo – right in the middle of your chest! Here are 10 tattoos that don’t add anything to the lovely ladies who bear them.
10) Christina Ricci
Christina Ricci might have a bad girl side, but, as you can see, it’s a small one. It takes the form of a little blue bird creeping up her cleavage, showing that the offbeat actress clearly has something of a discrete biker chick persona. But who would have thought that the former Wednesday Addams wouldn’t? Or is it just the Twitter bird shoved down her dress?
9) Miley Cyrus
Miley might seem like a slight young thing nowadays, but, what with the tattoos and the new rock look, she’ll soon morph into Lindsay and eventually one day go all Britney. And it’ll be awful.
As Miley’s first tattoo, located below her left breast, says: ‘Just breathe’ – because that’s what your boobs are for. Oh, wait a second… In all fairness, Miley’s tat does apparently commemorate a friend who died of cystic fibrosis. Nevertheless, beware the tattoos, Miley, beware…
8) Mena Suvari
Mena Suvari has the phrase ‘Word, Sound, Power’ tattooed on her back and what looks like a squiggle on her front. Actually it’s a ’13’, for ‘lucky 13′, apparently, rather than for, say, ‘third nip’. We’re pretty sure that ’13’ is an unlucky number, but what the hell. Mena’s husband Simone Sestito has a matching ’13’, making the tatt delightfully romantic. Coincidentally, the Hell’s Angels used to get the number ’13’ sewn on their jackets to signify their love of ‘m’ (the thirteenth letter of the alphabet) for ‘marijuana’. Just a coincidence, though, we’re sure.
7) Melissa Joan Hart
That’s MJH, formerly Sabrina the Teenage Witch, formerly Clarissa the Know It All. And she’s an adult. With a tattoo. Of a butterfly. On her boob. Nowadays Melissa has a candy store and appears in horror movies. Who’d have thunk it, eh?
6) Tameka Cottle
Tameka has a thing for tattoos. As well as this chest oddity, she also has a pair of praying hands down one arm and a rose bush on her back – each stem apparently represents one of her kids. But, frankly Tameka, we just don’t think they work.
5) Terri Polo
Best known for appearing in Meet the Parents, Meet the Fockers and the forthcoming Little Fockers, Terri Polo (that’s Polo, as in horses, not as in chicken) has what’s best described as a scribble on her left breast (alongside a wonky heart). Are they some initials? A musical note? Or some elvish? Better dolphins and kittens, any day.
4) Roseanne Barr
While Roseanne Barr might be a fabulous lady, and a fine actress and comedian, all we’ve got to say is “Put ’em away Rosey! Put ’em away!” Roseanne’s one who has roses on the back and roses on the front. We’re not quite sure what that means though.
3) Mutya Buena
Mutya says big hoopy earrings! Mutya says leopard skin/gold puffa jacket combo! Mutya says terrible rose tattoo! It’s not necessarily any one of these things that we have a problem with, but all of them put together. Combine with a u-shaped top and what do you get? Awfulness coming from a former Sugababe.
What on Earth does this say? “A filthy dog stood on my chest”? Or, perhaps, “If dogs do stand on my chest, they should put their paws on these two spots to get the best footing”? According to Eve it’s a reference to her association with the Ruff Ryders label – where she was apparently “the bitch of the litter”. These are apparently her favorite tattoos of all. Well, if you like to think of yourself as a bitch…
1) Amy Winehouse
The one, the only, it’s the celebrity train wreck that is the House of Wine. Britney and Lindsay’s own personal meltdowns pale in comparison to Amy’s ongoing ballad of crack addiction, alcoholism and self destruction. Famous for her rockabilly look with the beehive hairdo and the naked lady tattoos, there was a time when we could tell ourselves that Amy was just hard living. That changed when she got a pocket and the word ‘Blake’ tattooed on the upper left side of her chest. That would be in reference to Blake Fielder Civil, her one time and perhaps future husband. The man who said he introduced Amy to crack and heroin. Who was imprisoned on charges of causing grievous bodily harm and subsequently attempting to pervert the course of justice in 2008. Well bad choice in men, bad choice in tattoos…