We can all agree, wherever, whatever, that tattoos are awesome. Or so we’ve been led to believe, under the influence of peer pressure. But what’s one step more badass than getting a tattoo? Why, what about scarification, the art of carving pictures out of your very flesh? Oh, wait, did we say badass? We meant to say staggeringly horrible. However, as with tattoos, it’s perfectly possible to do something decidedly strange in this supposedly gnarly medium – so here are 10 of the most bizarre and gross examples of nerd scarification. And just for clarity: DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!
10. Hello Kitty
Scarification for the lady nerd – but holy Christ, Hello Kitty. This one’s so fresh it has blood dripping out of it. Talk about brand loyalty – in this case to a twee, peculiar and frankly mind-boggling global leviathan, that has marked its kitty stamp on the four corners of the Earth. However, Kitty herself couldn’t have hoped to have reached this level of customer immersion – that’d be just below the level of their flesh.
9. NES controller
Somebody likes classic gaming just a little bit too much. The man who got this casually declared: “It wasn’t the most fun experience I ever had.” But we do declare him to have reached the apex of nerdiness. For those too young to remember, this is a NES controller – an 8-bit gaming system that existed when all you needed to play Zelda was an A button, a B button and a directional pad. It was discontinued 15 years ago. Kudos for antiquity because you’d have to be a douchebag to want an Xbox controller printed on your arm.
8. Freak cubed
Is he the third freak? Or is he a freak to the power of 3? In either case, that level of commitment has nerd if not geek written all over it, and, as we all known, maths related body art doth the nerd exemplify.
7. Euler’s Equation
One of the best known mathematical formulas (for those who follow that sort of thing), Euler’s formula (seen above) has been called “the greatest mathematical formula ever” and “the gold standard for mathematical beauty.” But what were saying? Oh, yes, having Euler’s identity tattooed across your back definitely, definitely makes you a nerd.
6. Computer symbols
Yikes, someone seems to have some specific categorization for their fingers – that’d be the ‘on’ switch and the USB and Firewire icons. We’ve heard of the techies who embedded small magnets in their fingertips (so they can feel electric currents), but we can only hope this fellow doesn’t have computer cables coming out of him, whatever the signs say.
5. Space Invaders and Pac-Man
Scarification takes everything a little bit further than tattoos – they’re horrible, they look extraordinarily painful and they will never, ever go away. So if you decide you want Space Invaders or Pac-Man running up your arm, you better be pretty sure about it. You wouldn’t want people thinking you sit in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music while being chased by ghosts now, would you?
You know what’s not cool? Having a giant mythical monster (and mainstay of fantasy fiction) cut into your leg. Whatever the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo might say, dragons, as made famous by The Lord of the Rings and Dungeons &, err, Dragons, are more than a little nerdy (not to mention the fact that said Girl was a nerdy goth computer hacker). So despite what you might be thinking, dragon scars, of the self-inflicted kind, really aren’t a good way to go.
And the mark of the nerds shall be ‘@’. While that’s a lovely curve (nobody, but nobody likes a shoddy piece of body art), what is this one really trying to say? You’re a fan of the internet? You’re a nerd? We could probably have worked that out after a two minute chat. For all the meaning that can be gleaned from this, you might as well have a giant hash symbol.
This little number is a reference to the band Welle: Erdball. A band, you say? That’s not nerdy. People who like music enjoy healthy social interaction and so on. However, Erdball are, put simply, one goddamn nerdy German bitpop band, who developed their sound using the Commodore 64 SID card. This lady also has a chemical symbol tattoo on her – as she says, “Nerdy feminism,” because, hold your horses, it’s the chemical formula for estrogen. That is some unusual scarring…
Gigantic Star Wars themed self harm? Nerd cachet: ten out of ten. Horror factor: ten out of ten. What could be more definitively peculiar than having the almost life size Jedi master cut into your ribs? This is conceivably the ultimate mark of nerdery. Never again will you take your shirt off without displaying your love for the greatest muppet of them all (and making children run screaming away from the pool). The Force is strong in this one.