10 Male Celebrities Caught Gawking at Womenâ€™s Breasts
Busted! Who hasn’t been there? Caught mid-stare, barely even aware of what they’re doing. And while it may seem easy for girls to pass judgement, remember it’s them that lay the bait – often putting it on a plate – and everyone knows kawangas have a tendency to catch the eye, jahoobies a way of jumping out in your face, and gazongas a habit of beguiling the gaze. That said, being busted in the fleeting flow of real time is one thing; being caught in a photograph, wandering eyes forever frozen in an instant, is quite another. No opportunity to look away or feign ignorance now: the flash bulb has already gone, and so too your cultivated exterior. Just ask these ogling celebs.
1. Bruce Willis ogling Halle Berry
You can almost hear the intake of breath. “Whooo!” exclaims a blown away Bruce Willis, then: “Did I say that or just think it?” You said it Bruce, if not with your mouth then certainly with every other expressive feature of your bald-headed bonce. And who can blame him? He certainly wasn’t the first to be caught admiring the cleavage of Halle Berry, whom he starred with in Perfect Stranger, and neither will he be the last. He might, however, be the first to be so unashamedly caught in the act of so doing. Perfect Stranger may have flopped at the box office, but the Die Hard star shows he’s not going to wilt from the chance to ogle a co-star as spectacularly endowed as Ms Berry. Yippee-ki-yay, motherf*****!
2. Puff Daddy ogling Jessica Biel
This one’s from the Golden Globe Awards, but it seems Puff Daddy misunderstood exactly what kind of golden globes he was meant to be bequeathing with the help of co-presenter Jennifer Beil. The 7th Heaven starlet is happy to smile for the cameras but, lost in his own personal nirvana, Puffy’s clearly got something in his eye – and we just hope he didn’t try and hand them over to whoever it was won the award. The bad ass rapper is better known for his infatuation with ample booties than whacking great bazookas like those bestowed upon Ms Biel, but here he highlights he’s not averse to either, and even the sexy star of The Illusionist can do nothing to conceal his appreciative props.
3. Dusting Hoffman ogling Angelina Jolie
The naysayers will claim this shot, from the 2008 premiere of Kung Fu Panda, merely shows a doting Dustin Hoffman gazing at the wonder of Mother Nature that is Angelina Jolie’s child-bearing belly, she at the time having been pregnant with Brad Pitt’s twins. Others may take the more cynical view that the former Graduate star’s eyes were fixed on another inflated double bump on his co-star’s person, proving that while the beholder may get older, the objects of desire stay the same age. Dustin, we acknowledge you’ve been one of finest actors of your generation, but to be caught so flagrantly lost in awe of the fineries of a fellow professional – well, it isn’t befitting a man of your stature.
4. Woody Allen ogling Scarlett Johansson
Now Scarlett Johansson has a pair of yahoos to make any red-blooded male cry yabadabadoo, but Woody Allen is no Fred Flintstone and the award-winning actress whose chest he’s so absorbed in is no Wilma. In point of fact, she’s young enough to be his granddaughter. Allen was panned by The Guardian for the “inadvertent moment” in which he was caught “admiring his latest muse’s principal talents”, arguing that “every time old Woody juxtaposes himself with the young Scarlett he once again triggers that ick factor.” We agree there is something tragic about the declining director being captured so at the premier of his film, Vicky Christina Barcelona – but if it weren’t Woody, well…
5. Justin Timberlake ogling Janet Jackson
If any of the entries on this list are excusable, it’s this one featuring Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson from that Super Bowl halftime show nobody could forget. When Justin sang, “Gonna have you naked by the end of this song” he, so he says, little realised how much he meant it. Out popped one of Janet’s puppies, and the world said “Woof!” If all eyes weren’t on the performing pair by this point, they were now, and as Justin’s peepers were closest to the action, he of course was the one to get busted. After the show, both performers apologised for what Jackson called an “accident” and Timberlake a “wardrobe malfunction”. Even, so a star was born that night, and Justin had it in his eye.
6. Danny Radcliffe ogling Emma Watson
With or without Freud, it’s clear our infatuation with the female breasts begins at a young age, so who can blame the youthful Danny Radcliffe – better known as Harry Potter – for stealing a gleeful glance at co-star Emma Watson’s budding bosom. Still, someone should have reminded the lead of the fantasy-adventure franchise that no amount of Hogwarts trickery would make his misdemeanour invisible to the paparazzi at a promotional photo shoot. Meanwhile, co-star Watson, aka Hermione Granger, looks either blissfully ignorant or as though she’s growling something along the lines of: “Daniel, touch my butt again and no amount of magic will grow back what I break off” (cheezburger.com).
7. John Kerry ogling prospective voters
The wisdom that it’s better to avoid sneaking a peak at women’s breasts when numerous photographers have their lenses trained on you was clearly lost on US Senator John Kerry. If it weren’t for the tender age of the teenaged ladies being gawped at by the former White House wannabe, this picture would be both funny and instructive to those training in the art of the ogle: everyone knows that the key to covert Godzilla-gazing is not only wearing shades, but looking away from the target in question and moving only the eyes. As it is, Kerry gets busted on camera, and his advisers should have told him that’s definitely no way to convince prospective voters you care about them. Gross.
8. George W Bush ogling attendant
Just so you understand we’re politically neutral about our pick of busty busts, we bring you one from the other side of the political fence, proving that Republicans can ogle with the best of them too. This one presents George W Bush, the man who sent Kerry packing, caught being served up some vintage cleavage – and the ex-president is hardly averting his gaze. Dubya had some classic media moments during his time in office, but what tended to make them sparkle was the supreme ineptness of how he used his mouth as opposed to his eyes. Here he demonstrates no one should have “misunderestimated” his capacity for sizing up two sides of a pressing situation.
9. Jake Gyllenhaal ogling Jennifer Anniston
When Jennifer filmed The Good Girl with then newbie celebrity, Jake Gyllenhaal the Donnie Darko actor had the honour of being the first actor to deflower the former Friends star – in a love scene that is. However, clearly cavorting naked in bed with his hot co-star in front of 40 crew members was not enough for the greedy Gyllenhaal. No, he needed to feast his eyes once more on the norks so neatly concealed beneath that skimpy black dress, watched by hundreds of hungry photographers. Both actors have presented the other with awards, but it seems Jake is more taken by some of Jennifer’s attributes than others – and we’re not going to quibble about his anatomical taste.
10. Garry Marshall ogling Anne Hathaway
Rounding off our list of Goodyears-gawkers is another dirty old director, this time Happy Days creator Garry Marshall, seen here ‘directing’ Anne Hathaway, the actress he fell in love with when she auditioned for her role in Disney flick, The Princess Diaries. Since then, Hathaway’s star has risen almost as far as Marshall’s eyes have fallen in this picture, and it would certainly appear to be to his liking – if not to hers – that the two have again been re-united for the 2010 ensemble comedy, Valentine’s Day. Now we know it’s sometimes difficult to avoid being caught staring, but as we’ve learnt, there’s a time, a place, and an age for it – and it’s not when you’re collecting your pension.