Many questions have been raised over the years about Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza and the long list of stupidly hot babes who agreed to date them. Seinfeld, the “show about nothing,” ran for nine seasons back in the ’90s, and provided us with hours of comedy laughs. But one of the most fun games to play with the show now is to pick through the many episodes and find celebrities-to-be who cameoed as one of the many girlfriends that the gruesome twosome managed to bag. Here we look at the hottest.
10. Courteney Cox
A close call here. It would be a matter of months before Courteney Cox went on to absolute global fame as clean-freak Monica in the smash ’90s sitcom Friends, when she guest starred as “The Wife” of Jerry in the eponymous episode. The gorgeous brunette was fresh from filming Ace Ventura, and still fairly unheard of when she took the role. What’s more – proving she was probably always the most versatile of the Friends cast – she’s actually pretty damn funny.
9. Jane Leeves
We all loved Frasier. Well, our parents definitely did. We’re pretty sure we saw it a couple times. Anyhow, the cast member that certainly stood out was Niles’ buck toothed love interest and bona fide cougar Daphne, played by Londoner Jane Leeves. Before Frasier, Leeves spent a good few episodes playing a girlfriend of Jerry’s who happens to be a virgin – with hilarious consequences. Proving that even the English have some longevity, Leeves has been seen most recently performing a guest role on boring babe show Desperate Housewives.
8. Debra Messing
Sexy Debra Messing is a real New Yorker. She’s got that voice, made so famous by Will & Grace (though it’s probably best that we skim over that show and its eight year run). She also has the ultimate credentials for a Jerry girlfriend. Yes, a real Brooklyn babe with a CV full of roles as obsessive neurotics, she fitted right in in her 1996 debut as one of Jerry’s many ladies. Her stint was brief, two episodes (“The Wait Out” and 1997’s “The Yada Yada”) but we doubt she’s worried; she’s now rolling in dough, has been nominated for numerous awards, and is married to her college sweetheart in NYC. Good for her…
7. Catherine Keener
Catherine Keener has performed a number of noteworthy roles since her cameo as yet another entry in Jerry Seinfeld’s inexplicably long list of girlfriends, including seminal parts in the excellent Being John Malkovich, for which she was nominated for an Oscar, and the not-quite-so-excellent The 40 Year Old Virgin. In the world of Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine, however, the attractive actress plays an artist who not only paints “that” portrait of Cosmo, but simultaneously manages to inadvertently dupe the always money conscious George into buying an atrocious painting of hers. A classic episode (“The Letter”), with a classic celebrity-to-be cameo.
6. Christa Miller
Compiling a list of the hottest women in Scrubs is like deciding who you’d save in a house fire, mom or dad? The simple fact is that – save for that fat one – they’re all tasty. However for the sake of argument we would like to stipulate that Christa Miller – who plays Dr Cox’s sarcastic ex-wife – is definitely up there. As well a full appearance as George’s girlfriend in “The Doodle,” little did you know that she has a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameo in an earlier Seinfeld episode as the wealthy owner of a bra manufacturing company, in which George lands – and immediately loses – a job. She also delivers one of the all time most classic lines in the sitcom, “Who is this perverted little weasel?” after George for some reason decides to touch her sleeve.
5. Lori Loughlin
Though by no means a totally household name, Lori was certainly no stranger to standing in front of a camera by the time she appeared as Patty in classic episode “The Serenity Now” back in 1997, having previously starred in Full House. Her brutal Knicks-tickets giveaway, perpetrated during the episode certainly didn’t stifle her eventual popularity, especially in her subsequent roles in Spin City and 90210. More importantly, though, like most of the array of babes who seem attracted to George and Jerry like flies to crap, she’s incredibly hot.
4. Melinda Clarke
Before leaving home our mothers taught us one vital lesson: never trust anyone who enjoyed Days Of Our Lives. Excellent advice, but how does it work with regards to a clearly smokin’ babe who actually appeared in the atrocious daytime television turd? Well, if she was in Seinfeld then I guess she’s OK – Melinda Clarke having appeared in “The Muffin Tops” as Jerry’s hair-loathing piece of ass. And in Melinda’s case, her excellent physical assets certainly help her make the grade. Sorry mom!
3. Lauren Graham
Forget Gilmore Girls; Lauren Graham should be revered most for the sheer fact that she’s one of the more do-able 40-plus women in the celebrity world right now, and of course because she had a role in the greatest sitcom about “nothing” in the whole world. Lauren played one of Jerry’s girls in season 8, fighting with her stepmother over the numerical order that our comedy hero comes in her auto-dial. She landed the role before her breakthrough appearance on Gilmore Girls in 2000, and will be remembered fondly by any self-respecting Seinfeld fan in possession of a sex drive.
2. Kristin Davis
Kristin Davis was all the rage after her stint as the least hideous of the Sex and the City ladies, so it’s quite a novelty to see her popping up as Jerry’s equally anally retentive girlfriend in classic episodes “The Pothole” and “The Butter Shave.” Kristen did the episodes back in 1997, a year before she made herself a household name in her role as Charlotte in the HBO girl-a-thon tiresomely described as romantic dramedy forever more by critics and loved the world over by excitable girlfriends.
1. Teri Hatcher
A staple of mid-’90s television was Teri, who played the role of Lois Lane in the legendary Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman series. Suffice to say, it was a particular part of Teri’s generous anatomy that excited us back in the day, so it’s no surprise that the plot of the Seinfeld episode she appeared in, “The Implant,” was entirely based around her boobs…
The piÃ¨ce de rÃ©sistance in this particular episode was her finishing line, “Yes they’re real, and they’re spectacular.” Instant boner!
Bonus Entry: Jennifer Coolidge
“The Masseuse” is one of the most classic episodes out there. Any self-respecting Seinfeld fan knows the synopsis: Jerry dates a masseuse with an unwillingness to perform her skills upon him (favoring sex), he gets annoyed about the situation, and classic hilarity ensues. This 22 minutes of comedy is a darn sight funnier than the entire canon of tiresome, over-peddled American Pie movies, despite them sharing Jennifer Coolidge in the credits. Yes, the bemusingly iconic MILF, “Stifler’s Mom,” plays the unwilling masseuse. Proof that in comedy terms, shorter, if not younger, is sweeter.