10 Hottest Movie Superheroines
The world of superheroes is a democratic one. There’s eye-candy for everyone. For the ladies you have a veritable cornucopia of muscle-busting dudes in increasingly skintight apparel, and for the men… well, the fun never ends. If ever there were a better time for all the slightly nerdy comic books of our youth to rise up and achieve the status of pop-cultural legend, it has to be now, a period in which wealthy directors seem desperate to throw the hottest ladies on earth into Lycra and have them fight evil – and trouble our sexual conscience. But history has proven that there’s always been an eye for making superheroines appealing. Here we give you the ten hottest examples in cinema…
10. Jennifer Garner – Elektra
Pointy-faced cooking enthusiast Garner does what most women as hot as her could not have done – garnering almost as bad a box office performance as Howard the Duck. The Texan native appeared in the 2003 Affleck-fest, Daredevil, before promptly undermining any professional credibility by starring in the lame spin-off, Elektra, two years later as the eponymous ninja assassin of Greek descent. Still, it’s not all bad. She does after all possess the kind of achingly hot body that most burger-swilling women would sacrifice a limb for.
9. Malin Akerman – Silk Spectre
Sweden is an incredible nation. It’s citizens are invariably good looking, well educated and deeply talented in interior design, so it’s no surprise that one of its finest exports should appear on a list of hot superhero babes, despite her having grown up in Canada… Malin Akerman does a stellar job playing the scantily clad Silk Spectre in Watchmen, bringing leatherette suspenders straight back into the non-creepy domain of sexual appeal by rocking them all the way through the movie with a serious vengeance.
8. Helen Slater – Supergirl
OK so she might be a bit dated, but there’s a reason she’s made the list. Whatever happened to ’80s tits? You know the kind: perky, pointed, look excellent in silk. Of the ten different decades of tit-type in the 20th century, the 1980s surely gave the best results. Helen is testament to this fact, dressed nonchalantly in her flattering blue and red Supergirl from the movie of the same name suit and pouting like there ain’t a rock of kryptonite left in the world. Salutations, Helen, you’ve stood the test of time.
7. Lynda Carter – Wonderwoman
Okay, so maybe ’70s tits aren’t so bad either… Lynda Carter’s villain-busting antics on the CBS blockbuster show, Wonder Woman, ran second to her excellent curves, exaggerated by an outfit clearly invented by a genius in the costume department. Like a kind of Cold War Katy Perry, Lynda made teenage boys all over the land wonder what that funny feeling in their pants was whenever she bounced across the screen in hot pursuit of villainous henchmen, from the first TV movie on.
6. Halle Berry – Catwoman
Halle Berry is no stranger to the world of Marvel and DC, with her appearances in the X-Men movie franchise – and as Catwoman in the eponymous movie – cementing her place in the nerd hall of hotties. The movie blew, as it happens, but that didn’t stop her looking worryingly good in her leather feline outfit. Another marvel of the costume department, the somewhat impractical suit had a serious undertone: by keeping our attention on Berry’s puppies in motion, we had scant little time to realize just how poor everything else about this celluloid turd was – not least its decision to make Catwoman a hero rather than villain.
5. Ellen Page – Shadowcat
There was something about Ellen Page’s performance in X-Men: The Last Stand which seemed to work beautifully. Perhaps it was her girl-next-door portrayal of Kitty Pryde (aka Shadowcat) – juxtaposed so nicely against the tit-toting obviousness of her fellow X-babes – that made a nation of comic-book enthusiasts coo in appreciation. Or perhaps it’s simply because she’s subtly hot. We’ll never know, but we do know that she deserves her place on this list. More please, Marvel.
4. Alicia Silverstone – Batgirl
Part deux of the only two things worth watching in the putrid disease that was Batman and Robin, Silverstone counteracted Uma Thurman’s vegetative theme with the body enhancing get-up of her mentor Batman. Complete with girly breast-bits and thigh squeezing leggings, the complementary suit reminded the world that there was a reason we kept searching for Alicia’s naked pics on the internet back in the ’90s. So where on earth is she now? Apparently cameoing in the occasional comedy and hanging around Broadway (but she’s still super hot).
3. Anna Paquin – Rogue
Another X-Men babe, Paquin has appeared as the personality-draining super mutant Rogue in all three of the franchised movies thus far (not including snorefest X-Men Origins: Wolverine that is). The business savvy sex-bomb of an actress has a number of strings to her bow, having founded Paquin Films in order to produce various Hollywood projects, and has no doubt set the imaginations of men everywhere on fire with her decision to come out as a bi-sexual in 2010… We’ll give you a couple of minutes to let that news set in, gentlemen.
2. Jessica Alba – The Invisible Woman
Jessica Alba is achingly hot. Period. So if you add a disgracefully becoming blue and silver jumpsuit to the equation she becomes the aesthetic equivalent of a Picasso. In yet another example of an atrocious production being rescued by pure boner-fodder, Alba single-handedly liberates us from the most boring two hours ever spent at a movie theater by rendering every single one of us a gibbering, slightly jealous mess of coital fantasy. She plays Susan Storm of the Fantastic Four – also known as the Invisible Woman – which is a damned shame, ’cause we’d happily look at her all day. Fortunately most incidences of invisibility involved her popping out of the air naked moments later.
1. Scarlett Johansson – Black Widow
Scarlett is the hottest woman in the world. Well, definitely one of them. There isn’t a role she’s played that hasn’t been festooned with large-breasted, pouty-faced allure. Suffice to say it was an absolute treat seeing her star as Black Widow in Iron Man 2, dolled up perfectly as the sultry, dark haired, bi-lingual beauty, Black Widow. If there were a more perfect antithesis to professional ball-ache Robert Downey Jr.’s performance, we’d eat our Comic-Con t-shirts. Scarlett, you are a goddess.