Popular Culture

10 Anchorwomen You ‘Secretly’ Want To Bone


Sometimes we take for granted what an enlightened age we live in. No matter where you go in America nowadays – no matter what you do or where you do it – there are hot babes. And an arena as serious as the news is no exception. Every network now uses the awesome power of the female to keep people interested in what would otherwise be a depressing hour long program of war and murder and politics and other boring stuff like that. We’ve never had it so good, so in celebration of this fact we bring you the top 10 anchorwomen you ‘secretly’ want to bone!

10. Alycia Lane

We kick off our list with 38-year-old Alycia Lane. Alycia is famous for anchoring KNBC-TV, sending pictures of herself sans clothing to a fellow anchorman, and calling a policewoman a “dyke” after physically assaulting her. I’m no sadist, and I know violence isn’t the answer, but there’s something about her dark side which just makes her totally, 100 percent bone-able.

9. Laurie Dhue

North Carolina girl Laurie Dhue began her career on MSNBC and CNN, eventually rising to the role of anchor on Fox News’ Geraldo at Large and Fox Report. Despite occasionally looking a little bit like Rambo in drag, it’s Laurie’s love of naughty little short skirts which titillates the male news watching population so much. Try watching 5 minutes of her insanely exposed leg and tell me you wouldn’t want to… deep down.

8. Page Hopkins

Again with the short skirts! One might be forgiven for thinking that the main criteria for fronting the major news channels in this country are possession of good legs and a sufficient lack of shame in having them spread all over the comfortable studio seating during a live broadcast.
NBC anchor Page Hopkins has both of these unique qualities and is possibly the most weirdly hot soccer mom ever to have graced the small screen. So wrong and yet so very, very right.

7. Contessa Brewer

Even if she does sometimes look like a messed up cross between Monica from Friends and Barbara Streisand, Contessa still makes our list. Maybe it’s the slender brunette thing, or the feisty ‘fuck you’ attitude to criticism. Either way she is totally, 100 percent ‘not-sure-why-but-we-still-would’. She currently hosts MSNBC Live on weekdays.

6. Martha MacCallum

For us, part of Martha’s appeal is her ever so slightly conservative demeanor: the high necked shirts, the safe skirt length and the kind of kinky leather boots. She’s the hot teacher you secretly fantasized about during warm, sleepy science lessons, and what a hot teacher she is! 45-year-old Martha is an anchor on the Fox News Channel and a native of New Jersey. Having frequently been a guest on the Bill O’Reilly’s show, she’s that little ray of sunshine in a storm of dark cloudy shit which makes O’Reilly’s rubbery face of disbelief just a little bit bearable.

5. Erica Hill

CBS News sweetheart Erica is the lighthearted, girl-next-door face of news broadcasting. And like the girl next door when you were a kid, it always seems a little wrong to want to tap that. With dimples you could store water in, and a prize winning smile, she’s the nice girl from Connecticut who makes you want to run away to Vegas and get married to in a fairytale wedding with candles and cherubs and soft, downy pillows. She also makes you want to bone her. A lot.

4. Jennifer Eccleston

Known as ‘Miss Shock and Awe’, Eccleston is frank and to the point. A proud New Yorker, she has had slots on CNN, Fox News and MSNBC in the past – meaning her easygoing blond good looks and factual tone have been seen and heard by just about every lonely husband in the country whose day is made that little bit better by imagining her in her underwear. A true patriot doing an important service for the middle-aged males of America. Jennifer, we salute you!

3. Margaret Brennan

There is nothing that isn’t bone-worthy about Connecticut born Margaret Brennan. Aside from being a highly talented individual – she speaks Arabic and has two degrees – she is also the most sophisticated piece of ass ever to appear behind a news desk. She entertains the nation with her slightly mischievous outfits and saucy Irish charm on Bloomberg every day, and is to date the only human being on Earth to have ever made the ball-achingly boring topic of finance an essential daily viewing pleasure. She deserves the Medal of Honor.

2. Robin Meade

OK, so we’re getting to the part of the countdown where it’s probably not that much of a secret that we would like to see these women naked. Take for instance HLN anchor Robin Meade. She would look very good without clothing; everybody knows this. The ex-Miss Ohio entertains the nation every day with her curvy exterior and sexy walk, and is an expert in wearing clothes which reveal not quite enough to be truly frustrating. Pure brunette class.

1. Lauren Sanchez

Possibly the most talented news babe on this list, New Mexico native Lauren is an Emmy-winning journalist, news anchor, entertainment reporter, media personality and actress. As well as starring in blockbuster films such as Fantastic Four, The Day After Tomorrow, Batman Begins and Fight Club, she’s also appeared in daytime soap Days of Our Lives and is a contributor to shows such as Larry King Live and Showbiz Tonight. She’s also totally, totally hot. Our number one, hands down – for at least two reasons.

Jimmy McMillan “The Rent Is Too Damn High” Doll!

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